I'm not a Christian

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Belle Rose 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #5995

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    I tried to be. For my son. I thought it would help us.

    No it just opened up old wounds.

    I am…an atheist. And I am done with religion. I’m done with bullshit

    #5996

    Strega
    Moderator

    Whatever you land on, I hope it makes you feel more settled

    #5997

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    What do you mean?

    #5998

    Strega
    Moderator

    You seem to have been wrestling with inner conflict. I hope now that you feel you have landed on your position (of atheism) there is less turmoil.

    #5999

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    I think it’s more that I really see how things truly are. But I think I’m more of a bitch than I’ve ever been, so honestly I’m not the innocent rose I once was. I’m a warrior now.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  Strega. Reason: Fixed html
    #6001

    Strega
    Moderator

    What aspects of ‘bitch’ are you identifying with?

    #6002

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    I’m done putting up with bullshit. I’m done trying to be good to people who end up hurting me in the end. I’m done trying to help my son’s father. Fuck him. He’s still trying to abuse us after all this time. I’m done letting so-called Christians judge me and feeling bad about myself for my “sins ” when they don’t give a fuck. I’m done letting people smile in my face only to talk shit behind my back. I’m done listening to lectures from my family who doesn’t give a fuck about me. I’m done dealing with stupid people who just end up hurting me and not caring. I’m done letting people walk all over me like a door mat and a sex object. I’m done with anyone and anything that tries to drag me down. I’m going where the people are who truly support and care about me. I still don’t know where that is but I’ll find it someday.

    #6004

    physeter
    Participant

    Big hugs from me, Belle. I’m so sorry going back to the faith didn’t turn out better for you. I wish I had an idea where to find those people you are looking for. I know I’ve been pretty adamant in some of my arguments about theistic things you’ve posted–I’m very sorry if you felt personally attacked by that.

    Most people, I would hope, if they actually give a fuck, will care less about whether or not you are a Christian, an atheist, a deist, a Buddhist or a silly-hat-wearing-cult member and will care more about you doing exactly what you said–your strength in caring for yourself and not putting up with other people’s bullshit.

    I believe in you.

    #6005

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    Hugs to you too Physeter,  honestly I think I just went through a really bad phase… I had to figure out some things for myself. I think I still have a ways to go but honestly I think I’ve learned through this that I really don’t have anyone but myself. Community just doesn’t exist. At least not in this part of the United States. They are only a handful of people who I can really count on when the going gets tough. And there’s a whole lot of people who like to judge  me. Ironically it’s all the Christians who like to judge and then turn their back’s on me when I really need them. Fuck that. It’s been really hurtful honestly. It’s hurtful to watch my son lose one of his best friends ever when we really needed them. My son  has mental illness. He was in the psychiatric hospital for six days and there was only one person who really cared. That’s really sad isn’t it?  His dad made those 6 days hell for me.  But those six days really changed my life forever.

    #6014

    Strega
    Moderator

    Is he out now, Belle?

    #6015

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    He was. We are being readmitted

    #6016

    Strega
    Moderator

    Hang in there Belle

    #6017

    Belle Rose
    Participant

    Im trying.

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