Sunday School January 21th 2024
January 22, 2024 at 9:25 pm #52329
Lexophilia: Although not in the dictionary, it is reported that “Lexophile” describes a person who loves sentences such as, “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” and “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. This year’s submissions:
◾I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
◾England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
◾Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
◾This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
◾I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
◾A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
◾When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
◾I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
◾A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
◾A will is a dead giveaway.
◾With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
◾Police were summoned to a day-care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
◾A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
◾The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
◾He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.
◾When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
◾Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
◾I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
◾Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
◾When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
◾When chemists die, they barium.
◾I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
◾I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.January 23, 2024 at 5:34 pm #52331
Man, you are a social butterfly! I’ll have what you’re having!🍻
Outside of Professors in college, I have little success with meeting professed Atheists.
I met one gal in college who said she was Atheist, but we didn’t hit it off and had different schedules.
There was an Atheist group that met in the local Books-A-Million, but they met on a Sunday, and the Weekend is the time-to-shine in the retail business, and since I work in retail, no luck getting active there.
There is a Meetup in nearby Charlotte, but again, scheduling is an issue. Maybe I’ll rejoin the Meetup Web Site and let members know that if they’re ever in town to feel free to get in touch.
The last Atheist I met was an older man wearing a Freedom From Religion Foundation T-shirt in the late-Seventies/early Eighties Hill Street Blues font.
Maybe that should have been a sign of what came next.
We exchanged numbers but he wasn’t very technically hip because he never responded to texts. When we finally got in touch, we agreed to meet at Dunkin Donuts, but I didn’t know there was more than one Dunkin Donuts in town and I accidentally went to the wrong one. When I called to let him know where I was, he had a shit-fit for me accidentally getting it wrong!
I figured if this duffer has a fit over an simple, honest misunderstanding of a meet-and-greet, he would drop dead in a situation where Deus Vult Crusaders, Trumpista Christian Nationalists, and Dirka-Dirka Muhammad Jihadists are jackbooting through the streets.
He would be a liability to any Atheist discussion group, let alone more hardcore activism, so I said screw him!
Meh! As Gilbert O’Sullivan always sang, “Alone Again (Naturally)”:
A gentle correction regarding your Marine friend and his Howling Atheist Commandos: There is no such thing as an “Ex-Marine”. They would wince and grit their teeth to hear that term.
The Marine philosophy is “Once A Marine, Always A Marine”. and if a Marine is a decent member of the U.S. Armed Forces, the Oath of Service to The Constitution and The Bill Of Rights does not end with time in the Service. An Atheist Marine friend is a friend indeed! Semper Fi! Hoo-Ah!
January 23, 2024 at 6:31 pm #52333
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by TheEncogitationer. Reason: Spelling
Yeah i don’t think our personal circles or enounters are a reliable way to ascertain or even probative.
In my own small circle it is lots of atheist. The Jewish side of my family is atheist. The European is lip service Christians. And then how do you even know with simple people who don’t seem to have a world view?
In certain parts of USA you have to look far and wide for an atheist. The percentages seem inflated for lots of places. Palestine is a joke.
Sometimes that sense of admiration when we or should i say i encounter an atheist is misguided. I mean how smart do you have to be to see through the clown show? Problem is beliefs inculcated early are the strongest glue. Free will. Free marketplace of ideas? it is all BS. I will say it is pretty cool when someone from a culture of cult=religion raised in a home with orthodoxy goes apostate is worthy of note. On that note quote unquote so remote.January 23, 2024 at 6:40 pm #52335
Does this qualify: “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas”?January 23, 2024 at 9:17 pm #52336
Where I grew up in London, religion was the name of your community rather than any sort of path to enlightenment via a god. There are so many atheists, the word ‘atheist’ is rarely used as it’s pretty much the default position.
Yes, you may declare as a Hindu for example, but in most cases that’s to do with ceremony and community rather than spiritual obeisance.
Now I live in Vermont, USA.
My first visit to the Statehouse to meet the Insurance Commissioner was hilarious. Kaj Sxxxxxn reached out his hand to shake mine, and said, “Welcome to the Godless State!” And burst out laughing.
It’s because Vermont is the least religious of all the US States. If you type “The Godless State USA” into a search engine, up pops Vermont.
For me, there is still an unnerving religiosity here, that was missing from my previous city – I’m never quite sure how to reply to someone who suddenly invokes god whilst you’re talking with them. I feel a little incredulous that people blurt out their personal feelings about their religion at all.
But for “Welcome to the Godless State!” I can make an exception – it was brilliant.
January 23, 2024 at 9:48 pm #52338
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Strega.
Strega, how cool would it be if Vermont were officially known as the Godless State. Abutting the granite state is the pristine godless and green state of Vermont.
Stroll through rural Tennessee and you will feel like an alien visiting a foreign planet. So many frighteningly backwards locales in USA..January 23, 2024 at 10:45 pm #52339
@Enco – There is no such thing as an “Ex-Marine”. They would wince and grit their teeth to hear that term.
Yes, I could hear them shouting at me as I wrote the words 🙂 Not even a former marine. Once a marine, always a marine. They earn the title.January 23, 2024 at 10:51 pm #52340
In college i was attacked by a marine. He did not fare well. They aint all all that.January 23, 2024 at 11:11 pm #52341
@unseen – Does this qualify: “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas”?
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Oh wait, that is a paraprosdokian sentence, not a lexophile one. 🙂January 23, 2024 at 11:13 pm #52342
Or how about one of my own;
Synesthesia is just a pigment of your imagination.January 24, 2024 at 2:45 am #52344
Politics will never Trump American esprit de corps.
I’ll be Biden my time thinking about whether that is true.
My favorite sandwich spread is Hamas because it’s ground chick pees when they see us coming with swords brandished.January 24, 2024 at 11:17 am #52345
turns its adherents into something way less than animals
This is the kind of language anti-semites used in the run up to Naziism. It is no coincidence that Autumn left this website around when some of you started saying shocking dehumanising things that go far beyond simple criticism of religion. I am, at this point, embarrassed to be associated with some of you and this website in the last few months.
This kind of language is vile and I would encourage you to reevaluate the shit you say and how that reflects on the kind of person you are.January 24, 2024 at 5:09 pm #52346
Since we’re talking about plays on words, how about:
“Raw puns’ll let your hair down”January 24, 2024 at 5:30 pm #52347
Word. Lickers of salt. Blood. press your luck.January 24, 2024 at 5:35 pm #52348
Sorry you feel that way Davis.
I imagine i am included among the untermensch of Atheist Zone. I don’t think it is as you imagine it. I have seen how you ascribe thoughts to me that were never present.
In Robert’s quote i think it has to be taken in context. If we changed the context and portrayed lets say some poor isolated, alienated and in despair youth who is taken in by an evil cult and TURNED into something less than an animal. Is it an affront to the cult or is it on the youth?
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