Simon Paynton wrote:
It sounds like the guy didn’t know he was hurting people by ghosting them, when he should have done, because he was. Maybe British people are used to it, it’s normal to them, so they expect it. He had a failure of empathy (cognitive perspective-taking) driven by a lack of empathic concern (caring). He should have cared eno…

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He had a failure of empathy (cognitive perspective-taking) driven by a lack of empathic concern (caring).  He should have cared enough about someone he w…[Read more]

To give you an idea of how prevalent ghosti g is in Scotland, I had chatted with a lad for 5 weeks, almost daily.…[Read more]

TheEncogitationer wrote:
Oh, and “ghosting” bills you’ve voluntarily assumed is a shit move, especially with Medical professionals who are oath-bound to “First, do no harm” and to sustain human life.

At least make payment arrangements and pay what little you can until it’s all knocked out. No debt lasts to infinity unless you never pay it.

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_Robert_ wrote:
At any given time, I’d say 20% of daters get about 80% of the action. The people everyone wants to be with. They will ghost you and not even think about.

I once saw a piece about a guy who claimed to have sex with different women several times a week. His secret: Just hang out, develop a quick rapport, and ask them up front, “…[Read more]

Oh, and “ghosting” bills you’ve voluntarily assumed is a shit move, especially with Medical professionals who are oath-bound to “First, do no harm” and to sustain human life.

At least make payment arrangements and pay what little you can until it’s all knocked out. No debt lasts to infinity unless you never pay it.

I ghosted a few girls early on, but the town was too small, and it came back to me. So better just to give them the good news, LOL.

If it’s just incompatibility about goals, itenerary, chemistry, or styles, then, yes, courtesy and forthright communication is a good way to deal with breaking up and going separate ways.

However, if someome does something that wrecklessly or deliberately deceives and harms you, you have no obligation to “telegraph your…[Read more]

Davis wrote:
In this scenario, are you maybe doing something rude but not morally wrong? Or is it wrong?

I don’t think you can extricate the answer to that question from the context. Let’s see what I mean with a few examples. How would you analyze these hypotheticals if I behaved in these ways?

I come in contact with a woman through a dating…[Read more]

Davis wrote:
In this scenario, are you maybe doing something rude but not morally wrong? Or is it wrong?

It’s reasonable to politely ask to be treated as a human being, and not an ant or a fly.  If nothing else, it might improve the other person’s behaviour in the future.

There’s a revival of an old and especially anti-Humanistic tradition that many got an eyeful of during the recent Oscars:

Honor Culture Is Back. We Eradicated It for a Reason.
Ryan Grim
https://theintercept.com/2022/03/29/oscars-will-smith-duel-honor/

One thing your Mother might not want to tell her friend is: “Oh, don’t worry!  Me and Ol’ Nick are just like this! *Crosses Fingers*” 🤞😁

I sometimes tell that to customers whose total comes up to $6.66 or something added to that.  The reactions can be funny. 😁

I believe that clinical depression is the source of the idea of hell for the human race.  It’s just a dark and horrifying corner of the human mind.

If it were I…then I would do that (I have super strict limits with people in general and religion is definitely one of them). My mother is French Canadian, they are INSANELY polite (as you may know). They have a pretty hard time confronting people with personal beliefs and emotionally difficult confrontation. But I would imagine at…[Read more]

Simon Paynton wrote:
It is sad to imagine someone so tormented like that. She’s probably a caring person, if she is so concerned for the welfare of your mother.

Around here churches and preachers push this fear of hell constantly and tell their flock to go save their friends, family, everyone from the punishment of their god. It’s an age-old r…[Read more]

In…[Read more]

Your Mother sounds pretty convinced and firm in her non-belief.  I doubt she could be “blackmailed” into belief,  but her friend is a mess.

Did she know your Mom was a non-believer, then just out of nowhere get concerned that your Mom was going to Hell?  That would make no sense if she was firmly convinced in her beliefs.

Davis wrote:
She isn’t mentally ill. Depressed, perhaps. I wouldn’t blame someone who honestly believes in hell for being terrified of a friend burning for eternity. Any caring person who honestly believed in this shit would be terribly upset about it. Hell is the most grotesque religious concept ever devised. It is what makes Christianity and…

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I think we just need to dig a bit deeper. Its not a dead issue, after all. If we just use our skulls a little more we can figure this out.
That’s the spirit. Maybe we have a ghost of a chance at resolving this yet.

Or we can just give up and bite the dust. Perhaps this discussion is on its last legs.

But most norms aren’t random

Uhhh. Yes. A lot of them are. I mean…come on Simon, in parts of the world they lob off pieces of little children’s genitals. Want a less extreme example? To be presentable in an office in western countries a man has to wear an uncomfortable pointless cloth noose around their neck and in Southern Europe a woman has t…[Read more]

_Robert_ wrote:
I think we just need to dig a bit deeper. Its not a dead issue, after all. If we just use our skulls a little more we can figure this out.

That’s the spirit. Maybe we have a ghost of a chance at resolving this yet.

But most norms aren’t random, they have connection to things like benefit and harm, and respect.  This one is a case of respect.  Some people will dislike it, even if…[Read more]

It depends on the reason why they are upset.

I think in most cases, the reason why you are doing something, despite the fact that it upsets people…is more important than why someone gets upset about something. Pointlessly doing something that upsets someone, (whether they get upset for an understandable reason or a completely ridiculous…[Read more]

Simon Paynton wrote:

Davis wrote:
Who’s going to mind? That is the crucial question.

It depends very much on the moral system that you are using.

I’m curious as to which other people could be involved, under different moral systems. I would have thought it’s a question of simple reality.

In reality, you likely won’t find out who does or doesn…[Read more]