I’m moving on, starting fresh
So far I’m aware I haven’t passed the test
I’ve fucked up, made a lot of mistakes, even knowing everything I have is at stake.
Luckily I’ve not fallen too hard to fast
Considering all the shit I’ve had to deal with in the past.
But now I’m not stopping or looking back
I’m not playing victim no more
Everything I’ve learned is coming forward to change me for the best
There are too many ways a person can fall
Many never get back up
But I’m not going down like that
I’m coming back to show them they were wrong about me
I’m not just a drug addict delinquent
Bad girl runs in my genes, and I’ve always tried to fight her
But now I’m unleashing her, and proud of who I am and where I come from
No more denying it and being ashamed of who I really am
I had to lose everything to realize I have everything I need to be sane
I had to realize what I really want in life and who I no longer need to please
So everything I need is within me
No more relying on a man, or waiting on a prince charming
No more asking for help from fake ass agencies
They aren’t reliable or legitimately trying to help me be free
Only trying to impose a different form of slavery
The helping professions are there as a crutch
For people who don’t know half as much
But I know better. I’m smarter, I’m stronger, I’m right about what’s best for me
And so far no one has offered an alternative that’s really worth my attention
Only dragging me and keeping me in a state of victim mentality and role of submission
So 2018 comes in 15 minutes from now
I’m ready to tell the world “fuck you and get out of my face, you let me down.”
I’m never trusting anyone ever again
Anyone who wants to be around me, you’ll see the truth of me really come out.
You may not like the strength you see in me, because it’s no longer trying to please you.
It’s actually something that might even scare you
Because I no longer care if you love me, or hate me because I no longer need you to be happy
I’m doing me and keepin’ it real
Here’s to 2018
Happy New Year