Reply To: Otro Mexicano…..
Hi Belle,
First…it really sucks that you had a bad experience here. Not cool. Douchey guy to say the least.
I have to say there are numerous red flags that perhaps in hindsight seem obvious…but perhaps not in the moment. As I am reading this the red flags absolute jump out.
Number 1: He told me that he felt like I was trying to tell him how to act, and to just relax and let things go….so…I guess I let it be and figured I was probably over-reacting a little.
If he doesn’t listen to you and respect very reasonable boundaries…on what is merely the second date…it is only likely to go downhill from there. This might have been a good time to say…respect these boundaries or we can meet some other time without my son around (or better….respect these boundaries or good-bye).
Next red flag…Mexican-Mafia. Yikes. Call me prejudice but uffff…red flag if red flags ever existed.
Next red flag…groping you like he did despite telling him clearly not to do it in front of your son. If either of the previous red flags were not enough (though it would be very reasonable to ditch this guy for either of them) this is the ultimate straw. You have no reason to continue any further contact with him especially after violating your boundaries several times (on only the second date).
What comes next just makes the guy seem even more slimey and douchey.
I don’t know all of the details so I cannot say this for certain, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell him you are not interested in meeting again and cut off all contact…tell your friend what happened and make it clear you do not want to see him again.
You deserve a lot better than this, and you are, like too many caring sensitive people, letting things go and giving the benifit of the doubt far more than most people would…despite rather notable red flags.
You deserve someone who respects your boundaries, listens to you, does not ignore or brush off important things you tell him and someone who shows common respect and decency around your son. Some may think this is too much to ask…but in reality…it is the absolute minimum to expect and demand. You owe this douche-bag nothing and without a doubt someone who respects you and treats you kindly will appear. It would also be a good idea not to let this friend hook you up again.
