Reply To: Otro Mexicano…..
@PopeBeanie – I realize that for everyone, the idea of getting involved with an illegal Mexican is a no brainer bad idea…the thing is I guess it’s one of those things that I’ve grown accustomed to. My son’s father was an illegal Mexican when I met him and now (because of me) he is 1 year away from being eligible to become a US Citizen. Yes he totally used me for his papers, but I like to think we actually had something real at one point.
Because I was married to him, I understand the world of immigration on an entirely different level than most people. I don’t have the desire to be with an illegal Mexican. I am not however opposed to becoming friends with them. I had hoped that this man would have been a friend. I made it clear and said so in many different ways throughout our conversations that that is all I wanted. It’s nice to have a man around, if nothing else just to share good company. And honestly, it’s nice to have a man play sports with my son. I do the best I can but I can never be a substitute for the male interaction that takes place. While he does some of that with his dad, his dad is partially disabled and lives in chronic pain. He doesn’t always have the stamina to be there for him the way he would like to be. It’s not his fault. I know that his dad would do that if he could…I have no doubt.
There are a lot of great qualities that his dad brings into his life. That is why I try so hard to maintain a great relationship with his dad as a co-parent. But it would be nice to have some male friends around. It’s also nice to have men speak Spanish to my son. It teaches him how to survive and feel comfortable in that environment. My son needs to learn to live within both worlds comfortably.
My other post titled “entre dos mundos” – between two worlds is about that very struggle. Being not quite within the boundaries of either culture. A little bit too much outside to be fully accepted in either of them. It’s my job to teach my son what it means to be a man who can thrive in both American culture and Mexican culture. My son will be a dual citizen in Mexico. He may desire to go study there some day. Who knows…the sky is the limit and I impose no limits on him.
All of this being said, I’m just trying to explain my own logic and why it’s not outside of the realm of normalcy for me to interact with illegal Mexicans, male or female. It doesn’t matter and I’m not uncomfortable with that. What I am struggling with is the fact that I’ve never EVER met a Mexican man who knows how to respect boundaries. Honestly…This is why I’m really hoping that
@noel
or
@cesar deicide
(why isn’t the “mention” hyperlink thingy working here???)
will see this and weigh in on their experiences as men from somewhat similar cultures who understand the mentality. It is different. Men from Mexico in my experience do seem to take what they want and “no” is not really part of their vocabulary. The woman has “ni voz ni voto” – not a vote or a say….it’s something that i’m just not sure if it’s a mentality that is ONLY within the realm of the men I’ve dealt with or if it’s something deeper. While I do understand the culture, I am not FROM Mexico….so I don’t totally understand. Even though I was married to a Mexican, my ex-husband was very Mexican and he was just as Macho as every other man I’ve dealt with….so I’m trying to figure out if there is a way for women to actually BE friends with men, or if that’s just never going to happen. I may be hoping for something that’s just not possible. My own experiences point to say that Mexican men will try to sleep with you if you’re an American. It may not even be for a green card but just because they think American women are easy…that’s honestly what I think goes through their mind…but honestly I don’t know……………………
I hope my little rant there makes sense….
