October 7, 2017 at 7:04 am #5763
My son is now heading down a bad road. He’s been suspended several times (school just started!), he’s losing friends, he’s been a danger to himself and others, he genuinely hates school, and he has already had a parent fill out a bullying report against him.
The school can’t handle him. I keep getting pulled away from my ability to earn a living. I lost my job because of him – because his summer camp kicked him out and I had to call in…Now Im jobless and we are almost homeless. I’ve earned about $3000 this entire year….because of his behavior.
I don’t know what to do. I’m stressed out to the point that I feel like I’m going to die of a heart attack.October 7, 2017 at 11:23 am #5764
That sounds like a very tough situation for you. It does seem he might be better off in some kind of facility, both for your benefit, and society’s benefit. It’s in society’s interests to help him to change, since it doesn’t need to be spelt out how he’s likely to be when he’s older.
This could well be a combination of genes and environment, since, not every kid who has been traumatised ends up behaving this way.
Have a look at these articles, about the Mendota secure facility in Madison, Wisconsin:
It’s difficult to deal with all this on your own! So hopefully there is a professional who can advocate for you through this process.
It’s not going to benefit anybody if his mom crashes and burns. This is a very clear case for the need for the services to act to give you what you need.October 7, 2017 at 1:01 pm #5765
Belle, I know from my own experience some of what you are going through. The local school district could not handle my son from first grade on, really, despite trying everything they had. He ended up going to a school for behaviorally challenged boys – run by an order of Italian monks, no less! I was not happy about this development, obviously. He was there for three years, during which they helped me get my son back. I will be forever grateful to these kind, gentle, understanding people. Now that he is in 8th grade and is back in the local school district, he is like most other awkward, moody 14 year olds. He is a good kid. People at the school understand him better now, and they are bending over backwards to help him.
Part of this is because of how bad it got before he left the public school system. In the beginning of 4th grade, the principal of the school, let’s call him Principal Little Big Man, was trying to use some bullshit behavioral psychology to get my son to do what he wanted. My son was shutting down and begging him to stop. He didn’t, so Finn, my son, kicked the Principal in the head. Little Big Man got fired, and my son went to this end-of-the-line-before -juvenile-justice-system school. My son is not a criminal – he doesn’t go around kicking people in the head for fun, or at all. It was extremely misguided handling of someone with his issues. HE managed to get himself out of the regular school and it was the best thing that could have happened.
I realize your son and mine may not have the same issues, and our situations can be different, but please know you are not alone and it can get better.
October 7, 2017 at 2:17 pm #5767
- This reply was modified 2 years ago by Diane.
Belle I sent you a PM before I read Diane’s comment, but it echoes the situation we had here!October 8, 2017 at 4:42 pm #5775October 8, 2017 at 4:49 pm #5776
That’s powerful.October 8, 2017 at 8:49 pm #5777
The truth is I’m in way over my headOctober 8, 2017 at 9:26 pm #5778
The system is fucked up. They don’t know what the fuck they are doing.February 1, 2018 at 10:01 am #7702
We are left with nothing and no one. No one cares if we live or die. I’m done with society and I trust no one. I’m done.
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