Ladies' Night!

[.]

Pretend us ladies were all going out to a bar sitting around, looking as sexy as we possibly could, sipping our margaritas and talking…

Do you think atheist men (or women) are hot? Does it automatically make a person more attractive if they believe what you believe? Do you have to know they are an atheist to think they are attractive? Would you ever consider dating someone regardless of their belief system? Does it kill the mood if you are interested in someone and then find out they are totally conservative? Or does it matter to you? Would you consider a potential partner who is religious? What are your reasons for saying yes or no?

I personally have been out of the dating game for years and have no idea….I think for myself I could casually date someone who had religious beliefs, but not get serious with them. I don’t even know if I could have a relationship anymore because I’m too messed up, too scared, and just in general too untrusting….but I imagine if I COULD date and feel comfortable, I could have a good time with anyone, but to find someone who could potentially become a real partner, they would have to be an anti-theist like me and they would have to be fully supportive of me being a raging feminist and not have any hangups about being with a strong woman. Men like that are a diamond in the rough….I think the odds of me finding someone on this continent are slim to none….it’s one in a million you find someone who really knows you and understands you, and loves you anyway…..sometimes I wish those damn princess fairytales were real.

Loneliness is cold and solitude can play tricks on the mind….Sometimes I think it would be easier and I would have more of a selection if I was a Christian. I could just go to church and get plugged in to the singles group there….and find a husband looking for a submissive wife….but I can’t do that!

What about you? What is your take on being single? Or if you’re not single, what is your situation? Are you with a person who believes in God?

[Matt]

Hi Belle, joined “Women of Atheist Zone” just to reply to this. Might of been better to put it into a more general space. Anyway…

In terms of physical attraction, no it makes no difference what someone believes. As you said later, though, when considering someone for long term partnership, differences such as belief systems and such makes people far less attractive to me. I couldn’t imagine committing to spending the rest of my life with someone who believes crackers literally turn into an old jew’s body when eaten in a ceremony or some other such bizarre oddity.

[.]

@Matt LOL!!! No worries. I was hoping women would reply…getting a lot of women to participate is like pulling teeth sometimes! LOL!!!

[.]

But I always LOVE getting a male perspective on things.

[Strega]

Matt wrote:

I couldn’t imagine committing to spending the rest of my life with someone who believes crackers literally turn into an old jew’s body when eaten in a ceremony or some other such bizarre oddity.

That made me laugh and laugh and I’m still chuckling now 🙂

Belle, when we are young, our instincts drive us to reproduce. It’s what motivates sexual attraction. Hot chicks or guys catch our eye, and it’s often if not always about physical attraction.

As we get older, more aspects contribute to making the decision to interact “romantically”. For me, it’s about the personality. I see a person kind of like a car with a driver. The car itself (the body) might be shiny or battered, but if the driver (the mind) is interesting, I’m going to want to see more of them. If the driver is an arse, I don’t care how shiny the car is, I’m just not interested 🙂

[.]

I think that’s true Strega…I’ve been going crazy to get pregnant and I’m not even married!! It would be totally irresponsible for me to get pregnant right now given my financial circumstances, but I still want to! I must be in a sexual prime or something. It’s driving me nuts!!!!!

[Matt]

@Belle, It was over 24 hours and no one had responded… Thought I may as well try and get things going.

RE getting a lot of women to participate…: My mum’s been watching Amish Mafia recently so I’ve heard sewing circles are good for that!

[.]

@Matt I think that it’s just a sad fact that there are way more Atheist men than women. I also think a lot of women are intimidated to participate…I’ve long since been one of the only regular women posters on TA but I’m hoping to inspire a change. It would be nice to have connection with other atheist women on a regular basis. Sometimes I feel lonely! LOL!!!

[SteveInCO]

Perhaps part of the problem is that women who post here realize anyone can read what they write.

They might me more willing to confide to an all-female group.

[Strega]

Belle Rose wrote:

I’ve long since been one of the only regular women posters on TA but I’m hoping to inspire a change. It would be nice to have connection with other atheist women on a regular basis. Sometimes I feel lonely! LOL!!!

*raises eyebrow*. OK I’m not really offended, I just found that funny 🙂

[.]

*One of the only*** key words there 😉

[.]

I mean we aren’t anywhere near the same in number compared to the men Strega. Sometimes it’s just you and me. Sometimes other women post, but ultimately we are severely out numbered. Don’t you think? Does it matter? I guess it shouldn’t matter. No it doesn’t matter. Sigh…I don’t know what I’m saying.

[Strega]

I don’t know if it matters to you. It doesn’t matter in the least to me, honestly 🙂

Besides, do we actually know the guys posting here aren’t all secretly women pretending?

[Judi S.]

Belle, thanks for the topic. I’ve been married for over 40 years to a staunch Christian. He steadily became more and more righteous, programmed weekly by a Missouri Synod Lutheran pastor and congregation. I am very turned off physically by my husband because of his close minded beliefs about “discipline children”, “abomination of gays”, his belief that he is the “spiritual leader” of the family. When I married him we were partners, no longer.
I feel, I believe I have lost a good friend. I grieve that his religion is so much more important to him than his family.

I don’t believe I would ever spend time with another religious person, friend. I can not express myself around them because they are so convinced of their righteousness and superior knowledge of the bible.

[SteveInCO]

Judi S. wrote:

Belle, thanks for the topic. I’ve been married for over 40 years to a staunch Christian. He steadily became more and more righteous, programmed weekly by a Missouri Synod Lutheran pastor and congregation. I am very turned off physically by my husband because of his close minded beliefs about “discipline children”, “abomination of gays”, his belief that he is the “spiritual leader” of the family. When I married him we were partners, no longer.
I feel, I believe I have lost a good friend. I grieve that his religion is so much more important to him than his family.

I don’t believe I would ever spend time with another religious person, friend. I can not express myself around them because they are so convinced of their righteousness and superior knowledge of the bible.

I can’t blame you in the slightest. I ended my last significant relationship (four years ago) because she turned out to be religious, in spite of telling me she wasn’t religious. SHe was complaining more and more about atheists “attacks” on Christians as time went on. (And that was before I myself became somewhat more aware of church-state issues, she wasn’t complaining about me. I don’t think so, anyway.)

I had forgotten that a lot of religious people don’t consider their religion to be a “religion,” they avoid that word, thinking it means ceremony and belonging to a big organized church, and insist on describing themselves as “faithful” or “spiritual”

[Author]

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