This is a subject that doesn’t get talked about enough.
I’m totally out but it was not that I had much choice about it. I told my parents I’m gay when I was 20, still in the marines. They were more than fine about and had been waiting a couple of years for me to get around to telling them. Two days later Mom proudly announced it on her facebook page the whole family and most of western South Dakota. By the time I came back home 2 years later I was just about known before I arrived anywhere I went.
Being “this” out has made it hard for me to be friends with local gay professionals and business owners who aren’t. Being seen with me in public would be guilt by association. Gays and straight both love to gossip about anyone they find out is gay, from celebrities to the new guy at the corner convenience store. That means to see the gays who aren’t out to everyone I go by their businesses and see them as a customer. That works out great. The downside is I have to cover my trail to keep gay and straight friends from asking questions that I’m not going to answer.
Then there’s another whole level to this. I think my Mom knows every gay guy over 50 in this state. I’ve been around some of them since I was a kid and didn’t know they were gay until I came home from the marines. Through their clique (they all have wads of money) I met people who really do have a lot at stake if someone started naming names to the media. I’m talking about a few names some or all of you would automatically recognize. A politician (not from this state) an author, local and national TV news reporters, execs from big companies, etc …. all who come all the way to South Dakota to ‘vacation.’ … and more or less go around incognito. I’ve told my hubby about some of them and I know he’ll keep his mouth shut.
I don’t lose sleep or think twice anytime I hear about moral hypocrites being outed. I’d have no trouble doing it to one either, and can name a few I wish I did find out were gay so I could out them. But other than that I think the media is plain wrong for publishing any kind of sexual information on anyone else. It’s not just gays who get it. All you have to be now is a college athlete with a nude selfie to a girlfriend and there’s somebody with a website and magazine who’ll pay into the thousands for it.
To Do or not To Do 10 years, 9 months ago 
This is a subject that doesn’t get talked about enough.
I’m totally out but it was not that I had much choice about it. I told my parents I’m gay when I was 20, still in the marines. They were more than fine about and had been waiting a couple of years for me to get around to telling them. Two days later Mom proudly announced it on her facebook page the whole family and most of western South Dakota. By the time I came back home 2 years later I was just about known before I arrived anywhere I went.
Being “this” out has made it hard for me to be friends with local gay professionals and business owners who aren’t. Being seen with me in public would be guilt by association. Gays and straight both love to gossip about anyone they find out is gay, from celebrities to the new guy at the corner convenience store. That means to see the gays who aren’t out to everyone I go by their businesses and see them as a customer. That works out great. The downside is I have to cover my trail to keep gay and straight friends from asking questions that I’m not going to answer.
Then there’s another whole level to this. I think my Mom knows every gay guy over 50 in this state. I’ve been around some of them since I was a kid and didn’t know they were gay until I came home from the marines. Through their clique (they all have wads of money) I met people who really do have a lot at stake if someone started naming names to the media. I’m talking about a few names some or all of you would automatically recognize. A politician (not from this state) an author, local and national TV news reporters, execs from big companies, etc …. all who come all the way to South Dakota to ‘vacation.’ … and more or less go around incognito. I’ve told my hubby about some of them and I know he’ll keep his mouth shut.
I don’t lose sleep or think twice anytime I hear about moral hypocrites being outed. I’d have no trouble doing it to one either, and can name a few I wish I did find out were gay so I could out them. But other than that I think the media is plain wrong for publishing any kind of sexual information on anyone else. It’s not just gays who get it. All you have to be now is a college athlete with a nude selfie to a girlfriend and there’s somebody with a website and magazine who’ll pay into the thousands for it.