Reply To: Otro Mexicano…..

[.]

@ordy thank you 😉 I wish I felt as amazing as everyone tells me I am. A girlfriend of mine told me I should become a motivational speaker, and/or start an organization to help women who are in abusive situations. She told me that I carried Her through this past year and saved her from despair. So many people say I have all of this potential…I’m trying. but at the end of the day, I’m alone, scared, a step away from homelessness, sometimes going hungry, with very little hope That i’ll ever make anything of myself. I keep believing That there is some sort of purpose to all this suffering. That maybe somehow, some way there will be an answer. But I think that is the residue of an indoctrinated mind, and a lie.

How do you get anywhere when you have nothing? I lost EVERYTHING when I left my ex. All tHe debts incurred from a 4 year immigration process were in my name and my ex never even said a sincere thank you, or even felt an obligation to pay me back. I have nothing and the only kind of men I seem to attract are men who are just like the ones I’ve always been with. If I am so amazing, why am I alone with nothing, and no way to get anywhere? Sometimes I feel a glimmer of hope, but it never lasts. I guess I feel very hopeless right now. Time to go swimming, where no one will notice if you’re crying. Don’t mind me. It’s been a very difficult day.