August 4, 2015 at 10:24 pm #2193
Something I was just reading today (I have never considered before)…
The type of men who cross the border are typically very uneducated, come from poverty, and have poor social structure Where they’re from.
Of course there is always an exception to the rule. Of all the people that I have met who have crossed the border illegally, (a TON) I can honestly say I’ve never met one with a college education…Or if they do you have a college education it was earned after they crossed the border, not before.
Just like here in the United States when people are from poverty they are more likely to commit crimes and cause trouble.
What this has forced me to reconsider is really whether or not I really know anything about the mexican culture, or only a very small minority within it.
It would be the equivalent of studying the poor slums of Mississippi, and reasoning that that represents the entire United States (as an example).
It actually brings a whole new perspective, and quite a bit to think about for me….August 4, 2015 at 10:33 pm #2194
I can see you giving a helping hand to more than one oppressed or unlucky human, not just one, or two… and maybe even making other people able to add their helping hands. I wish I could help you aim higher, but this old man doesn’t have so many years to go.August 7, 2015 at 4:52 am #2344
UPDATE: It’s done and taken care of. He is out of my life. I am not looking back. I’m never settling for anything less than I deserve. It dawned on me today that if there ever was a man who came into my and my son’s life it would have to be someone very special. Someone who would ADD to our quality of life, not detract or subtract from it. That would be a very special person. I’m not sure that a person like that exists on this continent. I’m also not sure someone like that needs to exist at all. We’ll be ok just the way we are. As much as I would love to have someone hold me at night and make babies with me, that fairytale is not real life. I like to think that I deserve a good man by my side, but I still think I’m too messed up. I still have too much work ahead of me before I could even be on the same level as a man who would deserve us.August 7, 2015 at 12:41 pm #2350
Go Belle! Fabulous read, first thing in the morning. All of us support you 🙂August 12, 2015 at 6:32 pm #2601August 12, 2015 at 6:33 pm #2602
Los Mexicans son la perdicion, jaja!August 12, 2015 at 8:09 pm #2613
So sad to hear about your recent problem with el asshole…
Listen, college education’s are nice but the chances of Mexican doctors and lawyers comming here, where they would have to learn the language and be in complete competition with doctors who speak it fluently and have citizenship, is slim. Not that there aren’t any but it’s just easier to stay put. You are right though, majority of latino’s comming into our country are not educated to university standards. Some have no education at all but that doesn’t make them undesirable.
I’ve met a lot of migrants and illegal’s who can assimilate damn well. Down to proper etiquette and education.
There is a viral video going around of a Mexican migrant worker who answers Donal Trumps accusations with curses and the type of spanish that you would find in the poorer neighborhoods but he makes a point that he is a hard worker, not robbing anyone, and he pays his tax’s. Typical Mexican migrant workers.
Same goes for latinos from other countries mine included.
When my Columbian wife tossed me on my ass, for being a typical Puerto Rican drunk, I ended up hitting bottom. I cleaned myself up and never looked back. When I started dating, a year and half later, I put my son as the barometer for whom ever I was with. I had to think that if I ended up with this person she would have to be a right fit for my son. Consequently I broke off quite a few relationships because it just was not the right fit. Eventually I met my wife. She turned out to be a perfect fit. With my little boy it was never again going to be about me. It was all him.
My point is that everyone has a capacity to change the thing is you have to be able to weed out the ones who are just fuck ups and the ones who may be a little rough around the edges but are genuinely good people. You may find the latter at a church gathering but then that presents a whole slew of issues, mainly, you’re an atheist.
My advice? Go slow. We weren’t raised in the suburbs with inground swimming pools and friends named Buffy. But we did go to school and got some semblence of an education, and we learned or taught ourselves social skills that smoothed out some of our rougher edges.
In AA I learned that you can’t change anyone. You can just keep the focus and yourself and work on those rougher edges. If I go into a relationship looking to have to change the other person it’s not a good fit on account of I’m still so fucked up it’s a struggle to change me…Let alone someone else’s issue’s. Easy does it kiddo. This too shall pass…
Haven’t told you lately but single mother’s are amazing. And you Belle are really amazing…August 12, 2015 at 11:35 pm #2623
@ordy thank you 😉 I wish I felt as amazing as everyone tells me I am. A girlfriend of mine told me I should become a motivational speaker, and/or start an organization to help women who are in abusive situations. She told me that I carried Her through this past year and saved her from despair. So many people say I have all of this potential…I’m trying. but at the end of the day, I’m alone, scared, a step away from homelessness, sometimes going hungry, with very little hope That i’ll ever make anything of myself. I keep believing That there is some sort of purpose to all this suffering. That maybe somehow, some way there will be an answer. But I think that is the residue of an indoctrinated mind, and a lie.
How do you get anywhere when you have nothing? I lost EVERYTHING when I left my ex. All tHe debts incurred from a 4 year immigration process were in my name and my ex never even said a sincere thank you, or even felt an obligation to pay me back. I have nothing and the only kind of men I seem to attract are men who are just like the ones I’ve always been with. If I am so amazing, why am I alone with nothing, and no way to get anywhere? Sometimes I feel a glimmer of hope, but it never lasts. I guess I feel very hopeless right now. Time to go swimming, where no one will notice if you’re crying. Don’t mind me. It’s been a very difficult day.August 13, 2015 at 6:37 pm #2629
Back in 1990, rooming with older addict, who was on his third go round; came into the room to find me depressed and isolating. Asked what was eating me and I told him that I had nothing and no one to go home to. He laughed and said, “the way I see it you have the world by the balls. You don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of but you can start over”. Worked for me…
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