September 13, 2017 at 7:43 am #5040
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but I’ve been getting really angry lately about a lot of things. Is this good or bad? I don’t know. Maybe it’s good because I never used to get angry. They say one of the stages of grief is anger and I always just figured that for some reason I skipped over that one.
A lot of what I’m angry about has to do with a lot of things. But I think lately more fuel is thrown to the fire because I can’t really talk about it with anyone. So it’s just getting worse and worse.
So anyway if I’m a bitch now you know why. It’s not personal.September 13, 2017 at 4:05 pm #5048
Belle, anger is a sign of good health.
You know the flight or fight thing. Fear gives people the energy they need to take flight; anger gives people the energy they need to fight.September 13, 2017 at 7:34 pm #5056
Belle, it sounds as if you are getting frustrated with whatever’s going on in your life. Sometimes anger can be a very healthy way to let off steam, but thats only if you actually feel better afterwards. Not so good if you end up thwacking your boss across the face, for example.
Feeling really angry is one thing. Being unable to control it is another altogether. Only you can decide if or when you might need to invoke more self control, or how to achieve that.
Have you considered there might be a medical cause underlying your fluctuating emotions?September 13, 2017 at 8:09 pm #5058
I went back on anti-anxiety medication for my PTSD. The first one I tried was an absolute mess. It did not agree with me. Now the second one has done wonders and is amazing…
I’m angry at atheists and Christians right now. All the other stuff that’s been going on in my life I’ve slowly started to get under control. Oddly I’m probably doing better now than I have been in a long time. But I still have a long way to go.
My son has severe reprocussions from trauma. They are saying he has reactive attachment disorder. It is severe. We’ve been through a lot and it’s not even close to over.September 13, 2017 at 10:11 pm #5060
Hi Belle, sorry I was doing stuff around the house and missed this response.
I think it’s incredibly awesome that despite the anger and the turmoil, you still manage to take a look at yourself from the outside and note that you think something’s wrong. From my experience, that skill is a real rarity and very impressive.
When I commented that it could be health related, I really didn’t mean mental health. Once you go through menopause, if you’re unlucky you can really discover how hormone imbalances can twist up your moods and mess with your stability. So can blood sugar levels. Hormones take first prize however.
Is there a wellness clinic or a planned parenthood or other medical support system for women specifically where you are? If something’s messing with your ‘cycle’ it can turn you from pussycat to bitch and back to pussycat in little to no time.
I know you have PTSD along with a horrific history, but I also know you take care of this and seek treatment for your anxieties (again, commendable). I just want to remind you that sometimes cystic ovaries or other malfunctions can wreak havoc on your moods, and to encourage you to consider that it might be an issue stemming from your body rather than your head!September 13, 2017 at 10:35 pm #5062
I hadn’t really thought about that. I come from a long line of fertile women. I’ve never (ever) had irregular cycles. I’m only 35 and no signs of menopause (I hope not for a long time!!)…
I go to the doctor regularly and pretty much address everything as it comes up. Mental health is the one thing that had kept sending me to the hospital over the past couple of years. I kept feeling like I was going to faint but never did. The ER always ran tests and just said it was anxiety. I tried hard to not need medication but it got so bad I could not do hardly anything without having a panic attack. A couple of months ago I started Prozac and it made me sleep hard. Then I switched to Zoloft and I feel SO much better. But what is different is since taking them I get mad. Not at everything. But the things that do make me angry make me really fucking angry.
But I should probably talk to my doctor. I’ve never been an angry person and recently I get heated over a lot of things.September 13, 2017 at 10:37 pm #5063
I think growing really close with my sister may have something to do with it too.September 13, 2017 at 11:14 pm #5066
I know you don’t mean any of the angry things you say to actually hurt anyone. Hormone imbalances, however, are huuuuuuuugly influential in our moods.
Sure we can hope to strangle back fury but that doesn’t make it vanish. It just boils inside and then spits all over people we least want it to, when a tiny thing happens. Then the rational person in us comes back and we wonder what just happened and how we can get back to where we were before the eruption.
Just suggesting you don’t automatically assume it’s your head just because it was before, and try a more physical approach. See if certain foods work better than others. I know moneys tight so I’m trying to suggest cheap solutions.
If you lived near me I’d be dosing you with Evening Primrose and I swear you’d notice the difference.September 13, 2017 at 11:20 pm #5067
For what it’s worth, I think “I really don’t give a fuck anymore. My pent up rage is coming out and If you don’t like it get out of my way,” is a much healthier attitude than ‘I tried to be a Christian/atheist to fit in.’
I don’t have anything productive to say like Strega…other than I’m glad you’re here, and I’m cheering you on. 🙂September 13, 2017 at 11:26 pm #5070
Thank you @physeter. Right now I’m mad at atheists and Christians both and just trying to figure out what I believe. And I’m mad that I missed being able to do this when it was developmentally appropriate to do so (like my teen years). Now it’s like I’m just angry at everyone who comes at me like they know everything and have it all figured out. See right now I just got mad and want to punch a wall. lolSeptember 13, 2017 at 11:26 pm #5071September 13, 2017 at 11:27 pm #5072September 13, 2017 at 11:32 pm #5074
I live in Bernie Sanders state. Vermont. Wouldn’t you miss all your family? It’s great up here, why don’t you do a bit of research and see if it’s feasible and if you do, make a plan.September 13, 2017 at 11:39 pm #5075
I am considering all options.
What family? HA!
I was going to move to CA close to my biological uncles. But I’m open to all possibilities right now. I can live anywhere in the US. I need to get out of here.September 13, 2017 at 11:42 pm #5077
Just as soon as I have my niece in my custody I’m outta here!!
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