Fellow Unbelievers,

You think the doctrine of Papal Infallability would end if an especially deranged Trump Pope were to procaim that a Pope cannot die as long as he holds his position?

Robert,

Hey, Pope Francis was from “The Global South,” so any racist or tribalist sensitivities he has are all right with the Woke Globalist crowd.

Which gives a new sinister meaning to “The South’s Gonna Do It Again.”

Mike had to pull Tom Servo to the side during the commercial break and do some…[Read more]

Bigfoot will become a striker for the Saints.  Mothman would also have made the team as goalkeeper but unfortunately he took the words “Come towards the light” literally and so died twice on the same day. St. Francis is too annoyed to comment because the whole place is full of sheep.

Reg,

Who would be deceiving whom in that case? Would it be mutual? And would Bigfoot and Mothman get Beatified as Saints or at least get a St. Francis blessing of the Beasts?

Of course it must be true! I mean, how else do you explain:

The mysterious drop in holy water levels right after Vance left the Vatican? (Evaporated? Or exorcised itself?)

The Pope’s final whispered words: “Who is this man and what is a Vance?”
The Swiss Guard now seen wearing flannel vests and chewing tobacco?
The sudden rebranding of the Vat…[Read more]

@Enco – What was JD Vance doing there?

Coincidence? That’s exactly what they’d want you to think. The truth is far more divine (and disturbingly Ohioan).

Sources* reveal that during their meeting, Vance attempted to explain the theological implications of Hillbilly Elegy as sacred scripture. The Pope, already weakened by decades of…[Read more]

Reg,

Any smoke signals on who could be taking the Pope’s place?

I made a call. They said “We are Okay for smoke but can’t make the decision until all the mirrors are setup. Then we will do a lot of praying and make a decision on who is the holiest in the room.” So I guess it will take a while to find that guy.

My biggest concern is; Are there t…[Read more]

Reg,

Any smoke signals on who could be taking the Pope’s place?