Of course it must be true! I mean, how else do you explain:

The mysterious drop in holy water levels right after Vance left the Vatican? (Evaporated? Or exorcised itself?)

The Pope’s final whispered words: “Who is this man and what is a Vance?”
The Swiss Guard now seen wearing flannel vests and chewing tobacco?
The sudden rebranding of the Vat…[Read more]

@Enco – What was JD Vance doing there?

Coincidence? That’s exactly what they’d want you to think. The truth is far more divine (and disturbingly Ohioan).

Sources* reveal that during their meeting, Vance attempted to explain the theological implications of Hillbilly Elegy as sacred scripture. The Pope, already weakened by decades of…[Read more]

Reg,

Any smoke signals on who could be taking the Pope’s place?

I made a call. They said “We are Okay for smoke but can’t make the decision until all the mirrors are setup. Then we will do a lot of praying and make a decision on who is the holiest in the room.” So I guess it will take a while to find that guy.

My biggest concern is; Are there t…[Read more]

Reg,

Any smoke signals on who could be taking the Pope’s place?

Reg,

What was JD Vance doing there? Was he trying to MTVGFO (Make The Vatican Great For Once)?

JD Vance was the last known world official to meet the pontiff alive??

This needs to be investigated!!

Yeah, The Cuddly One is dead.  Just back from the local shop where someone kindly informed me that “it was a bit unexpected but at least he is in Heaven now” and “there will be a week of mourning for him”.

Of course, I just can’t keep mouth shut when presented with such an opportunity. “Why are Catholics going to be in mourning if he is already…[Read more]

Well shucks, the pope is dead, right after welcoming JD Vance. Here he was featuring baby Jesus wrapped in a keffiyeh. Not wrapped well enough to protect a baby from his army of pedophiles that he shuffled around the world. Or maybe he just admires the tenacity and faith of the death cult. Hard to say. If there was a hell, surely cuddles would not…[Read more]

Reg,

Is there any validity to life extension technology?

Maybe not yet, but Physicians wouldn’t be living up to their oath if they didn’t keep trying.

Almost to a person, everyone I’ve seen who believes in Heaven will still say without a hint of self-awareness: “Every day above the dirt is a good day.” So which is it?