I have a different perspective. People go there to die. And in spite of the grim reality i have on balance observed workers who go above and beyond in establishing relationships with patients and thereby making end days more bearable. The places i have observed the workers are underpaid and overworked.
I have visited people in various homes over the years. I found the staff to be very caring and passionate and with a genuine love and concern for the people they were minding.
I did once hear one staff member say that without her faith that she could never even go to work because she hated to see people die that she “knew” would not go to Heaven (i.e. they would go to Hell).
That comment has stuck with me. I find it very vulgar and if I am ever to spend my last days in one I would demand that no deluded person like that come near me. It reminds me of something Hitchens once said.
The places i have observed the workers are underpaid and overworked.
I knew this and had compassion for workers, but it was still hell at times for us when sometimes felt they had to lie to cover their asses just for small mishaps. My mom got “c diff” while in care a couple years ago which a new, nasty bowel infection that a lot of the staff was unaware of, and untrained in how to keep it from spreading. After a few days of ignoring a contaminated wheelchair, I finally wheeled it up to the front desk and told them about it, and the full-blown nurses who understood the ramifications FREAKED OUT! Fortunately for other patients, Mom was already properly quarantined, and any staff coming in donned disposable suit, gloves, and mask. They just ignored that damn wheelchair with the postit notes on it until I made a fuss. (One of those postits actually said “Got Poop?”, which I saw the humor in, but the lady sticking on the postits clearly did not understand the risk.)
Anyway, yeah, there was also that ongoing irony of workers and nurses thanking God for when things worked out well, but never a word about God when it went to shit. Except of course at death, then we hear God is good again and he/she’s in a better place.