May 3, 2022 at 2:33 am #42766
There was a heated discussion that started on one of our local neighborhood online groups. A man posted that his girlfriend was walking her dog, and an “African American male in a black Escalade approached her and started to hit on her, telling her she was beautiful and asking if she was single.” Etc….apparently it made her feel very uncomfortable. The premise of the post was to warn the ladies of the neighborhood to “be safe,” 😂
Some people asked why the man felt the need to bring up the fact that he was black.
There were a lot of the other usual stupid comments to go along with it like “what was she wearing,” and “she shouldn’t be walking alone,” and others saying that she was totally overreacting.
I’m wondering what you all think about this since it sparked such heated discussion that the original poster promptly had to close the discussion lol 😂May 3, 2022 at 3:50 am #42768
Well around here, I’d bet you that 3 police units would have been called-up and the suspect dragged out of the car and placed in a chokehold. Once he was sent to prison, then she would want to date him, lol.May 3, 2022 at 4:24 am #42769
I can’t weigh in on a situation that I wasn’t a part of. I’m not going to try to invalidate feelings of comfort, neither am I going to condemn the man. Well, I do think there are issues with randomly hitting on people who are minding their own business, but that’s a different conversation. That said…
“African American male in a black Escalade” isn’t the most useful descriptor. Black Escalade is carrying the bulk of the work. So if the goal was to identify the man, to what end and how good of a job did they do? What would I do with that info? Were those actions useful, or are they just adding more pages into the narrative that ‘Black = threat’? That’s something Black men have died over and which has a long, fucked up history to it.May 3, 2022 at 5:41 am #42770
I can’t weigh in on a situation that I wasn’t a part of. I’m not going to try to invalidate feelings of comfort
Should say ‘discomfort’.May 3, 2022 at 10:08 am #42771
I am honestly not sure why race was brought up. If the person in the car was “a blonde haired blue eyed man” and that description would also have been given in the post because identifying exactly what they person looked like was important, than maybe it made sense. But all too often mentioning race is tinged with prejudice. I don’t know the whole story so I cannot say for sure, but again, it seems really unnecessary to bring up race here. It contributes to the harmful stereotype that black men are sexually aggressive.
2. Guys asking what was she wearing is fucking vile bullshit. These men making these dismissive comments wouldn’t appreciate that if they were date-rape-drugged and raped by a man and then others asked them “well were you wearing an expensive silk shirt and tight jeans”?
3. Having been very aggressively hit on by some guys in certainly LGTBQ+ establishments, especially towards the end of the night with alcohol, or even during the day when no amount of “no” will do other then “get the fuck out of my face I said no” … I can sympathise with women feeling uncomfortable being aggressively hit on while minding their own business. And I am a big guy who has not been brought up to be submissive or extra polite or to defer to others. So yeah, I cannot fully relate to girls who frequently face this discomfort and power imbalance. I have intervened several times when men have become extremely aggressive towards girls saying no or rejecting them. While there is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation and slowly sending out signals and “reading the room”, I don’t think there is a fine line between playfulness and harassment.
May 3, 2022 at 12:26 pm #42773
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by Davis.
In my hometown, guys hit on girls like that ALL the time…when I first read the comments the first thing I thought of was, “these rich white naive people are too sensitive.” But then I admit, I’m probably prejudiced 😂.May 3, 2022 at 1:12 pm #42777
It is good advice for both children and adults to travel well-lit areas by day and keep safe distances from strangers in vehicles urging you to get closer.
As with non-sapient predators in the wild, act loud, visible, big, bad, sick, or crazy to scare off would-be human predators.
If this fails, fight dirty and unfair if anyone attempts to force you to another location. Target the aggressor’s eyes, nose, throat, and groin, as well as sensitive targets like the temple, abdomen, shins, and the ulnar nerve near the elbow (a.k.a. “the funny bone”.) Use anything on hand, walking sticks, canes, rocks, neck chains, a rucksack, a cup of coffee, steel-toed boots, Fight until the aggressor lets you go and/or is down.
If a person lures or forces you into a vehicle, the odds are very great that you may never be seen again. Avoid that at all costs!
While you should avoid making false accusations or snap generalizations,and while one should never assume that immutable traits equal being a criminal, an accurate description of the person(s) and their clothing and vehicle as well as the time and date is necessary. This helps both for situational awareness of the neighborhood watch and for law enforcement to question and/or apprehend suspects. Never hesitate to give an accurate description of a person, place, thing, or situation if it helps stop a criminal aggressor.
And always remember: The Life, Liberty, and Property you save may be your own!May 3, 2022 at 2:46 pm #42779
In and of itself there is nothing patently racist or askew.
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