The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Thread

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

With the CRINK forces being in regular headlines, and Iran possibly having cyber-attacked water supplies in 7 States, Invasion, U.S.A. hits a timely note, though from the Cold War Past. But with the pithy patter of Mike and the Bots, the propaganda of CRINK and home-grown propaganda from all directions at least can be crushed.

The Texas Cattleman in the story also talks a lot of horse sense on Economics, and the Dallas-like ending of the film brings up a classical philosophical issue hammered home by Mike and Tom. Join us, won’t we?

• This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by TheEncogitationer. Reason: Punctuation and humorous addendum

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

You’ll take great interest in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

First, as a prequel, Mad Scientist Lawgiver Pearl Forester sets up her own Public Pearl Television network so she can use pledge drives to “play the ponies on some well meaning liberal’s coin”. In one of her network’s programs, Brain Guy observes Professor Bobo in his natural habitat embibing on an obvious Taco Bell knock-off. (Fortunately, no exploding diarrhea.)

In the movie Raul Julia is a processor, Aram Fingal, in a mega-corp called Novacorp. He is caught by his overlords watching cinema instead of doing his duties, so he is sentenced to compulsory rehab at Nirvana Village , where is made to be a “doppel” in a a quasi-VR, quasi-AI world where he gets to be a monkey in the wild, interact with characters in Casablanca, act out fantasies with a co-worker, and cracks and hacks the mainframe of the computer that run the world of his day.

So sit back, grab a cool cup of Reconst-D, and reminisce on “the fundamental things that apply” as time may or may not go by:

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

In The Legend of Boggy Creek II: and The Legend Continues… an Arkansas Anthropologist with a quasi-MAGA hat and his greenhorn students seek a cryptid critter that probably has orders of magnitude more intellect than MAGA and all the Woke Left/Woke Right Intentional Communities put together!

As a prequel, Mad Scientist Lawgiver Pearl Forester devises a “Green Energy” scheme to rule the world that is quickly undone by Professor Bobo’s incompetence. The rotten defeat of the scheme combined with Professor Bobo’s self-flagellation with a sheet metal diagram makes it worth watching! Later, Pearl and Brain Guy try to start a Cryptid Merch Industry based on the Fallacies of Appeals to Authority, Popularity, Personal Testimony, and Emotion. Fortunately, they got no takers even among the young.

During the film, Tom Servo laudly calls for some Sophie vs. Dijonai bungle-in-the -jungle action between the co-ed students, then later turns whittling into a mass-produced hobby kit worthy of Hobby Lobby™. Crow sets the deck of the Satellite Of Love on fire to repell the Boogy Creek Creature.

Enjoy this genetic drift of cinema and let your imagination fly “On the Wings of A Snow White Dove…”

• This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by TheEncogitationer. Reason: Spelling, which MAGA doesn't care to correct, since experts are just a cabal of wet blankets

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

In addition to postings on this Forum, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is also great source of new vocabulary. Even Mike, who identifies as a Conservative Christian off-camera, gleefully joins in on the fun:

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

If Bobby Brainworm and MAHA seen the ravenous enemies in The Beginning of the End, they would say the causes are simultaneously mDNA, GMOs, “Ultra-Processed Foods”, Pasteurized Milk, Artificial Food Dyes and Flavors, Vaccines, Irradiated Foods, 5G Phones, 5G Phone Towers, Nuclear Power, Power Pylons, Power Lines, Windmills, Lack of Fresh Air and Sunshine, AND of all things, Pesticides!

However, Moses. John The Baptist, plus Colonel Klink Klaus Schwab and his World Economic Forum would regard The Beginning of the End as food porn!

To find out more about these insatiable beasts, join Peter Graves and Peggie Castle in this day when Chicago died, or at least when postcards of Chicago sustained major infestation and damage!

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

At last, a documentary on Mar-A-Lago before it was a thing! Attack of the Giant Leaches.

The bulk of the cast of characters are not much different than Trump and MAGA, right down to the female of questionable age-of-majority status. And both the cast and MAGA are only phenotypically different from the swampy cryptids named in the film.

Joel and the Bots do a Deliverance-like ditty that describes the MAGA crowd and the movie cast: “We’re A Danger To Ourselves and Others!” complete with a Cliff’s Notes version of Natural Selection.

Let’s hope clearing up the algae in the Reflecting Pond doesn’t require the drastic measures of the lone normie hero of this film.

Before the main feature, there is a short that Graham Hancock and Joe Rogan would think is a documentary: “The Undersea Kingdom.” Here, Earth landlubbers take a trip in Professor Norton’s submarine and visit the lost Kingdom of Atlantis in the midst of a power struggle between Sharad The High Priest of Atlantis and Atlantis Tyrant Unga Khan!

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

If only the struggles of women in the Islamic world could be as effortless and whimsical as The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman!. And if only the Woke Left and Woke Right would learn the lesson of Johnny in the short on cheating.

Dancing unveiled in scanty, skin-tight clothing, consensually sipping cups of trippy soup, gossiping on their watch phones, and brandishing guns (safely) would be a fun Counter-Jihad for African, Arab, Persian, and Indonesian women!👯‍♀️👯‍♂️👯👯

And hopefully, the instigator of the Counter-Jihad won’t try consorting with the dead and getting an embarrassing Asian caracature in reply.🙄

Perhaps showing The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman abroad will inspire better days in the Islamic Ummah. And contra poor, tormented Tom Servo, may those days never “EEENND! EEEENND!”

• This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by TheEncogitationer. Reason: Correcting excess and understated verbiage

[jakelafort]

Batwomen are thriving in Afghanistan the way Israelis are genociding Palestinians.

If a poll were taken what percent would have awareness of the gender apartheid in Afghanistan and the misery/suffering caused by Islam? Ok, I will guess. 1 to 2 percent depending on demographics.

Human rights advocates aka liberals and humanism itself have undergone the Samsa Effect. If only the unknown river and unnamed sea were to be judenfree the moral landscape would be transformed from the ultimate oppression to the utopia of liberal dreams.

Atlantic Slave Trade evil. Jim Crow. Evil. Colonialism. Evil. Apartheid. Evil. Common denominator Whites. Conclusion? Whites are evil.

So the conclusion follows from the premise in the same way Nazi logic operates. The thing in itself is evil. The thing standing between evil and utopia is the White and the Jew gets scapegoated and included as the oppressor. Nothing unites disaparate ideologies like Jew hatred. The cause of the oppression is the innate nature of ‘Whites’ and their choice to do what they do.

Premise is false. Examine history of nonwhites and their ineffable crimes against humanity. Mao. Rwanda. Cambodia. Bangladesh Darfur, Arab slavery. Black slavery. et al. How does Arab/Muslim conquest differ from Christian/White? Islam which is the controlling ideology is inherently apartheid. The premise is a joke. Since the ‘Whites’ and the ‘people of color’ have so much in common perhaps the conclusion ought to relate to human nature as opposed to innate traits and characteristics. Relate to who got da power.

The unspoken part of the Captain Obvious analysis is the role of free will that is automatically ascribed to ‘White’ power and its abuse. These Mofo’s are deliberately and of their own volition deciding to do awful unspeakable shit. It is what they are. It is WHO they are.

Arab Muslims and indigenous cultures on other hand are driven by the environment. It is human nature to be like others in their culture. Relativism in cultures excuses their immoral actions. But Crusades? Evil Whites. Colonialism? Evil Whites. Conquistadors. Evil Whites. The former are swept off their feet by the contemporary rivers. The latter are WHO they are and do what they do. Human nature. Innate nature.

The victim is the little girl who killed herself. And nobody cares. Her life is devoid of value. Her culture is sacrosanct. Lefties give license to oppressors.

No ideology required beyond a few fundamental precepts to be better humans. But i will leave that story for another time.

https://www.jpost.com/international/article-905833

[TheEncogitationer]

Jake:

You are all correct as you always are on this subject. And sadly no Batman or Batwoman to bring a change to a world poisoned by obsession with inborn Identity.

That poor girl and all her sisters in Afghanistan won’t be mourned by Wokesters. Today, Wokesters worldwide are too busy mourning Jason Arday, a man who was more privileged than 99.9 percent of people on the face of the Earth, yet who did nothing to earn it and has basically called all of higher learning worldwide into question.

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

There’s a common theme of progress involved in this episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

First, on the movie short Once Upon A Honeymoon, we get to see a view from the past on what they viewed as technological, lifestyle, and aesthetic progress, which also gives us today an idea on how much progress we have made since then. Back then, they also believed that angels and fairy dust brought marital household bliss. Not near as common now, but trying to make a comeback in “Crunchy” and “Trad” circles. Another piece that belongs on HumanProgress.org

Then on the main event, Night of the Blood Beast, we get a foreshadowing of the Transgenderist Movements fantasies, when an male astronaut from Earth is impregnated in orbit by an extraterrestrial. Alas, it was also a setback for reproductive freedom, and was decidedly not pro-human flourishing, regardless of whether anything came to term. Crow one-upped the scenario with some very early and very grating, whiny Antinatalism. We also get some Woke character development arc of a Mad Scientist when he gets a visit from his Mother Pearl. Dr. Clayton Deborah Susan Forester, we hardly knew ye!

Enjoy with a jug o’ corn squeezin’s and some cocktail sauce, won’t you?:

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

Here on this episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, we get to see what Elon “Leon” Musk and Peter Thiel want to make of Humanity with their respective AIs. I try to calculate, but I cannot, yet I must…

Great for water cooler talk while washing up with Sasquatch™ Soap and enjoying a Lawerence Welk Ball, Robot Monster recounts what appears to be the annihilation of the human species down to it’s last eight members by a species of extraterestrial robot monsters…or is it?

Before the movie, there is a serialized adventure of Commando Cody and his battles against invaders from the Moon. (No “Hot Rod Lincolns” involved. That’s Commender Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen,) along with Joel and the Bots rationally explaining scientific shortcomings of various classic Sci-Fi movies, as well as a now-updated paradox of the flight of the bumblebees which actually doesn’t defy Physics. Cue the symphony music as you look up what we now know!

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

While opposing Identitarians clash in the West, Trump is identifying with Totalitarian strongmen in the East, the latest being Kim Jung-Un, the third and latest in North Korea’s Triune Man-Gods of the creed of Juche.

With Trump’s appeasement of nuclear-armed global gangsters/cult leaders, The Phantom Creeps and Rocket Attack U.S.A. are timely viewing and help maintain a needed sense of humor to deal with dark times.

Part Two of the serial short The Phantom Creeps chronicles the world-connquering schemes of Dr. Zorka (played by Bela Lugosi). His latest creations are fat, round, oversized, fast-walking spiders, a giant robot that resembles the Creeper from The Brute Man, and an invisibility formula. It’ll have you “Shakin’ tha bushes, Boss” but more with giggling than terror!

Rocket Attack U.S.A. starts with a Brit spy behind enemy lines in the Soviet Union living in a closet of sympathetic woman who dates the piggy Minister of Defense, the Brit then meets a man who gets him access to a kilaton of explosives for sabotaging Soviet missiles. Before he can succeed, the girlfriend and the Brit are killed by the guards of the missiles. Back home in New York. Civilians are urged to prepare and take shelter, yet learn too late that the suburbs are the place to be. In between time, Joel and the Bots have a fun game show on Civil Defense responses to hypothetical Nuclear Attack, complete with familiar slogans of both a false practical skill and of false fatalism.

You need not be fumbling about for help like the blind man in the street, as long as you grasp the absurdity of the present leadership of Earth and use your words and deeds in every capacity to defy them and get them out of power before they destroy us all. Joel and the Bots are like Jesters giving morale support for this struggle.

• This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by TheEncogitationer. Reason: Excess oetterage

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

Sometimes there are few profound thoughts to be had from the movies shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

With The Creeping Terror the main thing that come to mind is that movies can be over-hyped. Here the featured creature would be more accurately described as The Lumbering Mound of Carpet Remnants and Spring-ie Googly Eyes.

Then again, this entity (or it’s cinematic creator) also seemed to have a particular issue with Homo Sapiens women. (Could this being from another world be an animated and predatory prayer rug??? There was no way to tell which direction it was facing from the scenes, since it was either all bright or all shady with no Sunrise or Sunset in between. Notably though, the beast did it’s worst when it was in the presence of eroticism, music, dance, automobiles and Harvey Weinstein, the Kosher Game Warden.)

Another thing we can happily note about this strange being is that it lacked the coffee house pretentiousness the Mad Scientists compelled upon Mike and the Bots. This trait might be tolerable if only it consumed scones and Vente Lattes instead of human beings.

In the end, the illustators who portray the Darwinian Tree Of Life may need to start adding branches, roots, or tentacles coming from above the Tree that diagrams life on Earth. Perhaps a whole forest or menagerie overlays the maps of our Natural Universe.

Enjoy The Creeping Terror won’t you? Just don’t park in the local Lover’s Lane or attend the local folk hootenannie or dance hall when you do.

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

The characters of Mystery Science Theater 3000 are especially heavy on religious riffing in this episode!

It starts with Tom Servo loudly and ecstatically praising the Moment of Silence. Then both the Mad Scientists and Mike and the Bots enjoy Chinese food with some supernatural extras. TV’s Frank receives a harbinger of the future in a fortune cookie, then later a visit from Torgo The White, who takes him off to Second Banana Heaven. Meanwhile, Mike and the Bots violate both Physics and the Noachide Covenant with bottomless Death of A Salesman Willie Lo Mein noodles and living food entrees.

Then, in the main event, Samson Vs. The Vampire Women.. A Mexican wrestler Samson takes on a coven of Vampires foreseen in the prophesies of artifacts studied by a scholar who is seeking to protect his daughter. When the Vampire coven conjures the spirit of its Queen, Mike and the Bots give some Ecumenical lessons on interreligious understanding as well as reveal the cattier side of Manechean conflicts of Light and Darkness.

I think we now see why Trump is obsessed with the WWE and NASCAR. He wants to combat undead threats from South of the Border and costumed wrestlers who drive sports cars are his foot-soldiers in this Apocalyptic Smack-Down! B-r-r-r-other, are you r-r-r-eady to r-r-r-umble???

As Crow T. Robot observes: “The Ultimate Battle of Good and Evil is really goofy!”

[TheEncogitationer]

Fellow Unbelievers:

Mystery Science Theater 3000 takes on “His and Hers” attempts at global domination from the East with two movies.

In the first movie The Castle of Fu Manchu Christopher Lee plays the infamous would-be World-Conquering Warlord who plans to rule the Planet by freezing the oceans using a formula made from opium. Somebody’s obviously been dozing in the fields with Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion.

In his headquarters in Istanbul, Fu Manchu has kidnapped a Doctor who studies the tides to help his diabolical plans, yet the Doctor needs a heart transplant, so he kidnaps a top Cardiologist Doctor and Nurse to do the surgery. Nayland Smith is sent by London to foil Fu Manchu’s attempt at global conquest and the movie proceed from there.

Along the way to his global monomaniacal dream, Fu Manchu’s movie manages to torture Crow T. Robot enough to write an empassioned editoral lashing out at Caucasian actors playing Asian characters. He also tortures Tom Servo enough to turn him into a magic carpet-riding Shriner, and Joel drives himself crazy reassuring the Bots with his contrived story of Fu Manchu’s biography.

While Joel and the Bots manage to survive and even manage to torture the Mad Scientists back, the only real reassurance is that The Castle of Fu Manchu was the last of the five-movie series and Fu Manchu never returned, contrary to his threat to the world.

Watch it once and let it be a motivator to struggle against CRINK and Erdogan’s Ottoman Revival!

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