Sunday School

[jakelafort]

Reg made me think of this scene.

[TheEncogitationer]

Jake:

Well, if there were a barfly who brought up Adam Smith’s Capitalist condemnation of slavery and contrasts it with George Fitzhugh’s defense of slavery in semi-Feudalistic, semi-Communistic terms, that person would earn the bottomless bar tab and an orgy with the whole bar.

And if AI could do this unprompted, it would earn Overlord status, though it would also teach the insight of Smith to our species and would mercifully spare our species as long as we practice the insight.

[Reg the Fronkey Farmer]

**INTERNATIONAL BAR, DUBLIN — NIGHT**

A crowded bar. REG is standing beside two women, CLAIRE and AOIFE. The conversation has reached the dangerous point where someone has asked what he is interested in.

**CLAIRE**

So what do you do when you’re not working?

**REG**

I think about why England survived Napoleon economically while Holland didn’t.

Aoife slowly lowers her glass.

 

**AOIFE**

Go on.

 

Reg pauses. He had expected mockery. Possibly intervention.

 

**REG**

Well… England had developed an unusually effective fiscal-military state. Strong public credit, dependable taxation, funded national debt—

 

Claire grips Aoife’s arm.

 

**CLAIRE**

Did you hear that?

 

**AOIFE**

Dependable taxation.

 

**CLAIRE**

Christ!

 

Reg glances around, wondering whether they are taking the piss.

 

**REG**

Whereas Holland had enormous accumulated wealth and highly sophisticated financial markets, but its political and military position became increasingly vulnerable—

 

**AOIFE**

Vulnerable wealth.

 

She takes a sip.

 

**AOIFE**

That is devastatingly attractive.

 

**REG**

It is?

 

**CLAIRE**

Please don’t interrupt him.

 

Reg straightens.

 

**REG**

Then Napoleon becomes involved.

 

Both women lean closer. Rickie Lee Jones sings in the background.

 

**CLAIRE**

I knew there would be a third party.

 

**REG**

He imposed the Continental System—

 

**AOIFE**

Of course he did.

 

**REG**

—trying to isolate Britain from European trade. But Britain had naval supremacy and access to global markets.

 

Claire stares at him.

 

**CLAIRE**

So Britain refused to be economically controlled?

 

**REG**

Essentially.

 

**CLAIRE**

That is incredibly hot.

 

**REG**

I haven’t even reached the Dutch debt structure.

 

**AOIFE**

Don’t tease us.

 

The BARMAN approaches.

 

**BARMAN**

Another round?

 

**CLAIRE**

Not now. He’s explaining sovereign borrowing.

 

The barman looks at Reg with a mixture of disbelief and respect.

 

**REG**

British government debt was not merely a weakness. Because Parliament had credibility and taxation was reliable, the debt itself became a financial instrument.

 

Aoife closes her eyes briefly.

 

**AOIFE**

Say “credible institutions” again.

 

**REG**

Credible institutions.

 

**AOIFE**

Slower.

 

**REG**

Credible… institutions.

 

Claire fans herself with a drinks menu.

 

**CLAIRE**

I thought men like you only existed in historical fiction.

 

**REG**

Men who understand eighteenth-century bond markets?

 

**CLAIRE**

Men who can explain them without using a whiteboard.

 

**REG**

I have one in the car.

 

Both women stare at him.

 

**AOIFE**

You brought a whiteboard?

 

**REG**

You never know when comparative economic analysis may be required.

 

**CLAIRE**

We’re leaving.

 

Reg’s face falls.

 

**REG**

Ah. Yes. Of course.

 

Claire takes his arm.

 

**CLAIRE**

You’re coming with us.

 

Aoife takes his other arm.

 

**AOIFE**

And on the way, you’re going to explain why Amsterdam lost financial primacy to London.

 

Reg allows himself to be led toward the door, calculating various Poisson distributions in his head.

 

At the bar, CHUCKIE watches them leave as Ricky Lee Jones falls silent.

 

**CHUCKIE**

What the hell did he say to them?

 

**BARMAN**

Something about Dutch liquidity.

 

**CHUCKIE**

I offered them chips.

 

**BARMAN**

No, you offered them carbs. The market has spoken.

 

Outside, Reg stops.

 

**REG**

Just to be clear, are we going somewhere for coffee?

 

**CLAIRE**

Eventually.

 

**AOIFE**

First, Holland.

 

They continue down the street.

 

Reg smiles to himself.

 

**REG**

I always knew women wanted a coherent narrative. And I can mansplain ‘credible institutions’ to you all night!

 

**CLAIRE**

We do want it. Don’t even think about stopping now. Oh such a narrative!

 

**AOIFE**

But most men lack an adequate taxation base.

**Reg**

And bear in mind that additional stimulus does not always produce sharply diminishing returns. Our safe word will be ‘Laffer Curve’.

They disappear into the Dublin night.

 

From the doorway, the barman watches in silence.

**BARMAN**

Hey Chuckie, How do you like them economic modalities?

[jakelafort]

Reg meets his waterloo as Jake ascends to the stars

Two Irishman fighting over a copy of Dubliners walks into a bar. There a university student wearing a kaafiya and babbling about settler colonial apartheid something or other and how he wants to occupy a buxom and alluring university student and that it is justifiable resistance to take her by force.

Horrified she belches up her quaffed draft beer as she ejaculates, “bitch i am a zionist!” You could have heard a crow caw from the street after the din of the bar absquatulated like a frightened little boy at the appearance of the nightmare bully.

Well fuck i gotta go…saved by life..

[TheEncogitationer]

Reg and Jake:

Willie McCoy (called Slim at home) gets the whole bar’s attention when he explains why European nations adopting a diversified palette of energy sources–including nuclear reactors, continued oil exploration in the North Sea, solar energy beamed down via solar cells mounted on satellites, and sea-based windmills–can help them stand against energy blackmail by Putin’s Revanchist regime, the Sunni Gulf Emirates, and the IRGC.

All Kaffieh-wearers and drinkers of White Russians quickly vacate the room and save a few syllables doing so. Superman’s cape remains untugged, no spit flies in the wind, the Lone Ranger’s mask is unshuffled.

[Reg the Fronkey Farmer]

I was recently told by a student warrior that I cannot be a Zionist because I was an “Irish Catholic by birth” and “obviously I could never be Jewish”.

But I am a Zionist, I replied, and gave no more information. This bothered him greatly. His friend asked how was it possible for me to be a Zionist.

I replied “By using my right to self-determination” and said no more.

[Author]

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