JOKES!!

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This topic contains 41 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  _Robert_ 1 week, 3 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 31 through 42 (of 42 total)
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  • #27001

    Atheism and religion are but two sides of the same coin.

    One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.

    #27002

    You never see a church with free WiFi.

    I guess they don’t want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

    #27003

    A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian.

    She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.

    Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.

    There’s just one girl who doesn’t raise her hand.

    So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

    The girl says, “Because I’m not a Christian.”

    The teacher asks, “So what are you then?”

    The girl replies, “I’m an atheist.”

    The teacher’s a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she’s an atheist.

    The girl says, “It’s just that my family isn’t religious. My Mom’s atheist, and my Dad’s atheist, so I’m atheist.”

    The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason.” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

    “Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a born-again Christian.”

    #27004

    _Robert_
    Participant

    #27012

    Unseen
    Participant

     

    #28253

    _Robert_
    Participant

    I wanted to become a Gregorian monk but I never had the chants.

    #28254

    _Robert_
    Participant

    The only thing flat-earthers fear….is sphere itself.

    #28255

    _Robert_
    Participant

    Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

    #28258

    Unseen
    Participant

    Time flies like an arrow.

     

    Fruit flies like bananas.

    #28265

    Insomnia is awful. But on the plus side – only three more sleeps till Christmas.

    People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

    #29269

    _Robert_
    Participant

    This is funny to me because I considered it..for a minute.

    I proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no. She believes I’m just after my money.

     

    Now for something completely gross…………………

    I desperately needed a massive crap on the train today but there were no toilets in sight and none onboard so I just sat there and held it for about 20 minutes.

    The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, “Is that a poo in your hand?”

     

     

    #29271

    _Robert_
    Participant

    Apparently you can get sandwiches in India now.

     

     

    They have a new deli.

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