Title: Jordan Peterson and the Stopped Clock
Subtitle: “What do you mean it’s right twice a day?”

[INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING. JORDAN PETERSON stands before a wall clock. It reads 11:37. It has read 11:37 for several days. He is visibly distressed, mug in hand, posture impeccable. There’s a camera crew filming a documentary behind him.]

PE…[Read more]

Reg, these are brilliant!  Thanks!!!

Title: IKEA: Thus Spoke Flatpack Zarathustra
Subtitle: “God is dead. And so is the Allen key.”

[INT. IKEA – SHOWROOM MAZE – DAY]

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE wanders the endless labyrinth of display rooms. He wears a thick mustache and the expression of a man who just read his own Yelp reviews. Blue-and-yellow signage hangs above him like the oppress…[Read more]

Title: Simone de Beauvoir Visits the LEGO Aisle
Subtitle: “One is not born a mini-doll, but rather becomes one.”

[INT. TOY STORE – LEGO SECTION – DAY]

SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR strides in, coat sharp, intellect sharper. She approaches the LEGO shelves with purpose. To her left: bold, complex LEGO City and Technic sets — helicopters, space stations,…[Read more]

Title: Camus and the Claw Machine
Subtitle: “One must imagine Sisyphus… at the arcade.”

[INT. SEASIDE ARCADE – EVENING]

Albert CAMUS stands before a claw machine glowing with neon emptiness. Inside: plush toys piled like meaningless stars in a cold, indifferent cosmos. Camus smokes, hands in coat pockets, collar turned up like a rebel philoso…[Read more]

[INT. TOY STORE – MIDDAY]

Bright lights. Aisles of blinking plastic joy. Enter JEAN-PAUL SARTRE, trench coat flapping, cigarette hanging precariously from his lip. He scans the shelves with existential dread. A CHEERFUL TOY STORE ASSISTANT approaches, smiling.

ASSISTANT:
Bonjour! Can I help you find something for your child?

SARTRE (gruff):
I h…[Read more]

[INT. DOMINO’S PIZZA COUNTER – NIGHT]

A weary DOMINO’S TEENAGER in uniform leans over the counter, chewing gum. Enter MARTIN HEIDEGGER, dressed in a long coat and scarf, brow furrowed with cosmic angst. He surveys the menu like it contains the secret to Being.

DOMINO’S TEENAGER:
Hey there! Welcome to Domino’s. What can I get ya?

HEIDEGGER (sl…[Read more]

Imagine the panic and frustration that must cause the remaining members of the regime 🙂 What else do they know about us and how do they know it!!

Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they are watching you!

Don’t ya think they might have considered that the Israelis are on to us? I mean it is James Bond scenario after another. I almost feel badly for them.

https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-858221

Reg the Fronkey Farmer wrote:
Jordon Peterson goes to Home Depot

We need a complete series like this. Martin Heidegger orders pizza, Nietsche shops for skateboards, Sartre shops for toys, etc.