Men ask why women are so pissed off. Even guys with wives and daughters.
Jackson Katz, a prominent social researcher, illustrates why. He’s done it with hundreds of audiences.
“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other.
Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?
At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they’ve been asked a trick question.
The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, ‘I stay out of prison.’
This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, ‘Nothing. I don’t think about it.’
Then I ask the women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?
Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands.
As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.
Hold my keys as a potential weapon.
Look in the back seat of the car before getting in.
Carry a cell phone.
Don’t go jogging at night.
Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights.
Be careful not to drink too much.
Don’t put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured.
Own a big dog.
Carry Mace or pepper spray.
Have an unlisted phone number.
Have a man’s voice on my answering machine.
Park in well-lit areas.
Don’t use parking garages.
Don’t get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men.
Vary my route home from work.
Watch what I wear.
Don’t use highway rest areas.
Use a home alarm system.
Don’t wear headphones when jogging.
Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime.
Don’t take a first-floor apartment.
Go out in groups.
Own a firearm.
Meet men on first dates in public places.
Make sure to have a car or cab fare.
Don’t make eye contact with men on the street.
Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”
― Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help
(The first man to minor in women’s studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, holds a master’s degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and a Ph.D. in cultural studies and education from UCLA.)
I’m always shocked when I find out what women have to go through from random men on a routine basis.
Yes, we feel targeted from the day we’re born, pretty much.
“we feel targeted from the day we’re born, pretty much.”
Hi Jade, can I quote you on my web page on Patriarchy?
Of course! Its the truth.
I’ve put the quote just underneath the video near the bottom of the page. What do you think of the video? Do you think it’s appropriate?
Yes, its fine, & I did not like the video at all.
Good points, thanks for your thoughtful reply, and personal perspective.
I was watching CNN about Jeff Flake about how he may have changed his mind about FBI investigation when he met 2 women who were previous victims of abuse in the lift.
Narratives/stories are a really powerful sometimes.
Agree with Simon Its shocking
Yes, that was all over our news.
Denial of women’s issues is still a huge problem.
Its not just women. Men within the lgtbq+ community often face sexual harassment, assault, stalking, domestic violence and general objectification from other lgrbq+
The worst response to this is to deny it happens. The second worst response is “you are attacking me and accusing me of being a rapist when you point out its prevalence amongst lgtbq+. You want me to f eel bad for being lgtbq+ This comes from a cis-hetero agenda and homophobia.
Notice how ridiculous the second sounds? At yet millions of hetero men become defensive, hostile and even furious when statistics of women being sexually abused or harassed is simply mentioned…minus any commentary. This added with denial…is one of the many proofs that there is little equality or egalitarianism. Instead of spending time thinking what it is lime for the marginalised it becomes feeling “blamed by association”.
Jade.. extremely nice method for opening up the eyes of those who don’t know about fear and abuse…nor see, experience but are prone to deny, underestimate or downplay the abuse. Thanks for sharing.
Men comprise by far the majority of the criminal population. I personally believe it’s “natural” (via evolution) for men to be more aggresive, and that’s why we see so many chauvanistic men revolt against the changing times. Even some women believe they’re put on earth to please men.
If my assessment of humanity sound insensitive, it’s because I know that nature is only sensitive to genetic evolution, and not to cultural needs. As cultural evolution overrules nature in so many ways, what we humans need as a culture is to take control of ourselves and adapt wisely to modern circumstances. Culturally, for thousands of years, men have made the rules and dominated culture, and we’re finally coming to understand as a culture that men should be *expected* to adapt to being more sensitive, empathetic, pro-feminist, pro-nurturing, and less traditionalist, patriarchal, aggressive, egotistical, and even less political, giving way to and promoting women in leadership roles.
Chauvanists will call me sexist, but their time of dominance must end, for the sake of humanity’s healthy future and happiness.
Big changes are needed, & that includes male dominant religions, workplaces, etc.