What is love?

[_Robert_]

Love is a wicked game

I sure enjoy shaking the tables and chairs in a dark club…..

 

[Unseen]

jakelafort wrote:

Unseen, swinging and polyamory are different. For you romance is an ardent and intense attraction. That seems a viable definition albeit subject to elaboration. Polyamorous have that with partners instead of a partner. I have little doubt that the psyche of those who opt for polyamory is atypical. Regardless of the arrangement any relationship requires effective communication. And i can only assume the demands of communication are greater in polyamory. Seems to me that polyamorous are more emotionally advanced than i. Wish a person could choose not to be jealous.

You’ll have a hard time convincing me that swinging OR polyamory involves what most people think of as romance. A romantic relationship is an immersive, overwhelming  attraction to another person. It’s hard to think of that being split across two, three, or more people. I still view swinging or polyamory as closer to friends-with-benefits.

[Davis]

That is not love. That is obsession. I like to think love is more simple and mature. If that makes sense…

Well, indirectly Desmond Morris makes the argument that these problems were uncommon in primative human relations but instead a result of the conflicts that arise from humans aggregating. In any case though, it’s say love in the modern human condition is extremely complex and it is possible for someone to really care deeply about a person and also be a terrible person who does very unloving things  🙁

[Davis]

Ghosting:

Something that really truly cannot be understood until you experience or even do it (even only partially) yourself. The conclusions I’ve made about it are the following.

1. Ghosting is really dispicable cruel human behaviour

2. Some of the nicest kindest caring people are capable of doing it.

3. Many people who ghost someone do feel extremely terrible about doing it.

4. Many people who ghost others convince themselves it is kinder than directly hurting the person by explaining why.

5. Both women and men do it

6. We really need to call each other out on it. Sometimes just having a friend compelling you to verbally call off the relationship is all it takes to get them to, at the very very least, send a text message saying it’s over. While that is still a pathetic way to treat someone…it’s better than nothing.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Davis.

[Unseen]

Davis wrote:

Ghosting: Something that really truly cannot be understood until you experience or even do it (even only partially) yourself. The conclusions I’ve made about it are the following. 1. Ghosting is really dispicable cruel human behaviour 2. Some of the nicest kindest caring people are capable of doing it. 3. Many people who ghost someone do feel extremely terrible about doing it. 4. Many people who ghost others convince themselves it is kinder than directly hurting the person by explaining why. 5. Both women and men do it 6. We really need to call each other out on it. Sometimes just having a friend compelling you to verbally call off the relationship is all it takes to get them to, at the very very least, send a text message saying it’s over. While that is still a pathetic way to treat someone…it’s better than nothing.

Possibly too much information, but here’s why I ghosted someone.

She gave me a BJ within 10 minutes of our first face-to-face meeting. Suddenly, she was attaching herself to me, calling me frequently as though we now had a “relationship.” After she woke me up at 4 a.m. to talk about our relationship, she got ghosted. This whole thing took place over the course of two and a half days.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Unseen.

[Jody Lee]

@Davis, I agree we have made it more complex. But it CAN and SHOULD be simple. Yet I can only speak for myself.

@Unseen, I’m sorry but that is funny shit. And for future reference,  girls who go down that fast, are likely going to require ghosting.

[Reg the Fronkey Farmer]

Poor James was haunted. Great song!

[_Robert_]

You know it is possible to turn down a blow job, unseen. OK who am I kidding.

[Unseen]

_Robert_ wrote:

You know it is possible to turn down a blow job, unseen. OK who am I kidding.

Actually, if you’ll remember, in another thread I related several examples of sex I walked away from because the females were drunk.

But my ghost wasn’t drunk, just crazy, as it turned out.

[_Robert_]

Yeah, that is probably a wise decision. Some people don’t take sexual rejection well. They just assumed I would have sex with them whenever they decided it was time. When I declined for whatever reasons they got hurt or upset. One started saying I must be gay so I agreed, yeah  that must be it. The other, who was a good friend became vindictive because I didn’t see her that way. What a stupid way to loose a friend.

[Belle Rose]

True love is to be found only in a healthy parent/child relationship and in the relationship between true friends.

But can men and women ever truly be “just friends?”…

 

 

[Unseen]

Ivy wrote:

True love is to be found only in a healthy parent/child relationship and in the relationship between true friends.

But can men and women ever truly be “just friends?”…

Yes, they can. I had a young woman as a friend. About three decades younger, we went to movies and out to dinner and enjoyed each other’s company two or three times a month and were in regular email contact. She said once, “You know, it’s nice to be able to go to a movie with a man without an arm on my shoulder or knee or getting the feeling he’s eager to take me somewhere for sex.”

That friendship came to an end when we did what seemed natural at the time: we moved in together. Eventually, she departed but not over sexual or gender matters, just lifestyle incompatibilities that had us getting on each other’s nerves.

[Reg the Fronkey Farmer]

I am getting the scent of bitter almonds. What is going on here??

[Belle Rose]

…..unrequited love

[Belle Rose]

I suppose I did have one guy friend in college who I would hang out with a lot….we never fucked or even kissed. He got a girlfriend and married her. I never once thought about sleeping with him. No matter how drunk I got.

[Author]

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