David Silverman (Adult Content)

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This topic contains 54 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  PopeBeanie 6 months ago.

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  • #28470

    Davis
    Participant

    If anyone starts a phrase with “Gay or lesbian people want….”  you can very confidently ignore everything that follows. Even something like “lesbians want women” is dubious as there are no small number of LGTB who deal with gender confusion, confusion over their sexual profile, trans-issues. I’ve rarely met two LGTB people who remotely want the same thing.

    #28471

    jakelafort
    Participant

    There is good reason to refrain from assuming that we know what a person is like or what a person wants because we think they ALL- fill in the blank-are this way or that way.  The tendency to fall into the ALL trap is what stereotypes, racism, bigotry, sexism, homophobia feed on.

     

    #28472

    Jody Lee
    Participant

    Women want to date dicks. They want muscly alpha males who have other exceptional qualities based on the luck of the genetic lottery: x, y and z. Still in the mean time they will pretend to like lesser guys and lead them on and friend-zone them until an alpha male dick comes along.
    Damn. I’m sorry if  you have been jaded in your life by a woman at some point in your life. The majority of women I know do not represent the above statement.

    #28473

    jakelafort
    Participant

    There is a recent study that uses the  input of college students in parts of Asia,  UK, Norway and Australia in which the participants give their preferences in a long term partner.  Kindness is important.  Physical attractiveness is more important to men.  Money or financial prospects is more important to women.

    Part of the thinking is that if we find universals (cross cultural) we will hit on biological preferences.  I would link it but i cant…title is kindness is a top priority in a long term partner.

    #28474

    Jody Lee
    Participant

    That study was done on college students. I’d like to see a study from 30-40 yrs. old women.

    #28475

    _Robert_
    Participant

    That study was done on college students. I’d like to see a study from 30-40 yrs. old women.

    I do think the stereotypes apply more accurately to hormone driven young folks. If you make it to intellectual maturity with an open mind it gets better. The older me probably would not like the younger me very much, LOL

    #28483

    Unseen
    Participant

    A greater percentage of women are persuaded by those factors. Woah. There are shallow men and women. But to assume that more women than not are persuaded by wealth and adulation? ….I disagree.

    The statistics question aside, there is that saying “Women are sex objects and men are success objects.”

    I used to listen to a radio show hosted by a guy named Tom Leykis, a very misanthropic shock jock (even though he played no music because it was a talk show where he took phone calls primarily from angry/disgusted women). Tom would make it clear he had plenty of sex with plenty of young women. Here’s a sample of his philosophy of life and his attitude toward women.

    Once again, he doesn’t speak for me, but a lot of young men listened to learn. I listened because the interchanges tended to be hilarious. At the same time, a LOT of what he says to his callers is true in a general way, if not for every woman or man.

    #28484

    Jody Lee
    Participant

    Right or not, I could only stand small doses of that guy. But, okay, some women only date dicks. I would still disagree that it’s a majority. And those women aren’t even worth the nice guys time. So why bother unless it’s for just for a lay. And THEN who is the shallow one?

    #28485

    Unseen
    Participant

    Right or not, I could only stand small doses of that guy. But, okay, some women only date dicks. I would still disagree that it’s a majority. And those women aren’t even worth the nice guys time. So why bother unless it’s for just for a lay. And THEN who is the shallow one?

    How much of the audio/video did you listen to? It sounds like you only dipped a toe into the water.

    He says men date women for one thing only: sex. Speaking in his voice here (not mine), the male is not there for your views on politics, he doesn’t care if you’re nice, while your lips are moving all he hears is blah-blah-blah while he’s wondering what you look like with your clothes off, whether you shave down there, whether you’ll put out on your first date or the second or ever.

    If you think that’s crass, consider this: What is probably the thickest magazine on the grocery store rack? Pretty good chance it’s BRIDE, a hugely successful publication considering the quantity of ad content. Now, you can search every magazine rack in the country, the world, the entire flipping universe and never find a GROOM Magazine. That alone should tell you something about how men and women view relationships in vastly different ways.

    Where Leykis is largely right is that men tend to view relationships practically and unromantically whereas women tend to view them romantically and impractically.

    Now, before you come back with (as women often do) with sentences beginning with “Not every” or “Not all” remember that I’m not maintaining that what I outlined above are ironclad truths depicting all women or all men. They are generalizations that hold up much and perhaps most of the time, despite exceptions.

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by  Unseen.
    #28487

    jakelafort
    Participant

    That Bride comment, Unseen, is interesting.

    Why is the wedding so mythically, magically incomprehensibly important to so many women? Obscene cost,  disgustingly ostentatious, fake, time consuming…etc? Is that the culmination of a life?  Is that the paramount achievement?

    I may be jaded because i used to do family law and the contrast between the pomp of the wedding and the cold sterile court-ordered finality of the divorce is a lasting impression.

    It is almost religious or cultish the way weddings are viewed.  I am not saying relationships are disingenuous or meretricious.  On the contrary when two people form a real partnership in life and can rely on one another it is among the best thing in human experience. But a wedding? It is fucking bullshit.

    #28488

    Simon Paynton
    Participant

    It is almost religious or cultish the way weddings are viewed.

    Some people say that the reason for big public ceremonies is to make it common knowledge that a contract (or whatever) has been made.

    #28489

    jakelafort
    Participant

    Yeah Simon, and some people say there are ghosts in their attics, gods in the ether, hell under our feet,  and that Donald Trump is a genius.

    Making it public knowledge? It is evident to all the people who matter without putting on a Broadway play.  Even for casual observers there are obvious indications of marriage.

    #28490

    Jody Lee
    Participant

    @unseen

    I’m not coming back with “not all”. And I agree that society has fucked up expectations and ideas when it comes to relationships. And no, I didn’t listen to the whole thing, because right or not, Leykis is obnoxious…like most radio talk show hosts.

    My argument is and has been that I don’t think the majority of women are that superficial when they choose a partner. I WILL say that age and intelligence are big factors in this. But MAYBE I’m wrong.

    As far as weddings,to each their own. However, I also think it’s an overrated tradition.

    #28492

    Unseen
    Participant

    @unseen I’m not coming back with “not all”. And I agree that society has fucked up expectations and ideas when it comes to relationships. And no, I didn’t listen to the whole thing, because right or not, Leykis is obnoxious…like most radio talk show hosts. My argument is and has been that I don’t think the majority of women are that superficial when they choose a partner. I WILL say that age and intelligence are big factors in this. But MAYBE I’m wrong. As far as weddings,to each their own. However, I also think it’s an overrated tradition.

    One way women are practical is the difference between the way they approach dating/bed partners versus marriage partners. They will generally go for the good-looking guy with the fast shiny car who wants to shower them with dinner dates, expenses-paid trips, etc. for dating. For marriage, they ma go for “Poindexter” (a term Leykis uses to describe clueless guys who don’t understand female wiles) because he’ll be a better provider and will be more likely to respect their marriage vows.

    Two cases in point: 1) Melania Trump has already been mentioned. You don’t think for a minute she married him because of his niceness, his sparkling personality, or his physical attractiveness. EVERYONE with two functioning brain cells understands that she puts up with his rancid personality and repulsive looks because he’s rich.

    2) Even Jackie Kennedy, an intellectual book editor, married Aristotle Onassis, again, not for his good looks. She fell in love with his bank account. Onassis was an ugly, walleyed, greasy-haired troll who was a bit shorter than her.

    (BTW, one of the irrational physical standards women apply is a height requirement. Research has shown that they prefer men who are taller than they are, and that the main factor that can overcome this prejudice is the wealth and power of the male. Or perhaps it is more logical than it first appears, according to this Maxim article.)

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by  Unseen.
    #28494

    Jody Lee
    Participant

    Melania and Jackie represent a particular type of women, yes. But not all.

    And how did we get on height preferences?I’m not going there, as I reflect on my past beaus…They were all taller than me.😆

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