That’s really awful Belle. I’m extremely sorry to hear that. LGTBQ+ sexual assault, domestic abuse, violence is rarely talked about…but extremely problematic. Based on my own previous dating experiences, and as date more masculine/sporty types, I am extremely observant/weary of red flags from the first date and have developed an extreme set of filters (there are so many fucking dipshits who are brazen about their behaviour let alone those who hide it). None the less, easy to miss them (assuming they are apparent) and not realise how extreme the manipulation is until you are drowning in it.
So sorry to hear about this horror. I’ve found that abusers can hide their violent tendency’s until they feel comfortable enough to think that no matter what they do the person they abuse won’t leave them.
A Guy I served with in the Navy and use to call friend preyed on overly religious woman. He married a girl from Alabama who came from a very Christian home because he knew that no matter what he did the girls faith will keep her from leaving him. They had two children together and after the kids were in their teens she finally divorced him. What did this guy do? He stalked the churches until he found another girl. About a month after he married her she phoned me and told me that the day after her wedding the beatings started. I told her to leave him and her response was “He’s my husband and it would be a sin”.
If not for that phone call I would have never known about the abuse he meted out to these girls.
He showed up at our door about three months after his new wife called me. I promptly beat his ass on my front steps. He never took a swing at me. Cried a little then laughed then left. Never saw him again.
With all this said it’s a hard thing to see how someone you’re in love with will turn out in the future. Tell my daughter that at the first violent outburst to up and leave because RESPECT has just left the building. Thankfully she has never experienced this.
Be well Belle
This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by Noel.