Simon Paynton

Unseen wrote:
Marriage vows make marriage a transaction. Marriage is a legal contract, and no matter what the spoken vows are, only the legalese automatically attached to or implied by them are binding and enforceable.

As I said, I think every close relationship has both transactional and generous interactions.

Unseen wrote:
Simon Paynton wrote:

In this context, it’s “appropriate”. What I mean is, it’s expected, it works best, and nobody will mind.

Unseen wrote:
Expected (by whom?) works best (for everyone?) nobody will mind (nobody?)

The context is close relationships, and the appropriateness of generosity therein.  In close relationships, we tend…[Read more]

Simon Paynton wrote:
In some circumstances it’s appropriate.

Unseen wrote:
“Appropriate” is a silly putty word you use when you want to say nothing at all.

In this context, it’s “appropriate”.  What I mean is, it’s expected, it works best, and nobody will mind.

How many women today are looking for a man who is well-read, who is intell…

[Read more]

TheEncogitationer wrote:
It could equally be an exchqnge of other values, such as courtesy or division of labor in a household, exchange of favors, etc.

Yes, but if there’s an attitude of “if I do A for you, you’ll do B for me”, or vice versa, that’s not generous and freely given.  In some circumstances it’s appropriate.  If someone is b…[Read more]

TheEncogitationer wrote:
As with so many others, you use the word “traansactional” as if it is a bad thing.

What would be the opposite of “transactional”? One party giving all to the other party with nothing in return?

Surely a close relationship is the place for generosity rather than cynical bargaining.  Some things are sacred or priceles…[Read more]

Unseen wrote:
No, the problem women have nowadays is that men are walking away from female reproductive abilities. We men are putting a negative value on having children. So are women, for that matter, until it’s too late for them to find a mate and bear a child.

I’m laying out the fundamental background game plan for the sex differences that w…[Read more]

Unseen wrote:
I have never thought about the low value of my sperm.

The sperm are plentiful and cheap, yet reproduction is of the highest value.  Females produce a few costly eggs (because they take a lot of growing into a baby).  The reproductive dynamic is different for each sex.  This gives rise to the social differences we se…[Read more]

Unseen wrote:
Do you think there’s something unnatural or sinister about these gender divides? Does Vonnegut’s Handicapper General need to step in.

Or maybe, just maybe, we should cherish that women are women and men are men in ways that go fairly deep?

The sex differences aren’t so much “men enjoy things, women enjoy people”, than the deep soc…[Read more]

Unseen wrote:
That’s the feminist parody of the relation between the sexes.

It’s the basic social game plan of patriarchy.

Just because something is “natural” – i.e., it exists in nature – doesn’t mean it is good.

The alternative to hierarchies of any kind is egalitarianism.

Unseen wrote:
Males are designed by Nature to be the alphas in most cases.

You’re talking about patriarchy.  Males are designed by Nature to reproduce, and patriarchal domination and control is the least risky method of: mate retention; ensuring paternity; and maximising reproductive success by mating with the maximum number of females.

The…[Read more]

Cynicism and a transactional, bargaining attitude and trying to buy women will make nobody happy.  That’s not the way to have a happy relationship.

Unseen wrote:
She also has to give the guy the feeling that she’s not contending to be the alpha in the relationship

So one of them has to be the alpha?  And it’s the man?

Unseen wrote:
A high percentage of these women exhibit two things: 1) no empathy for the role of the male in today’s scene; 2) a sense of entitlement, as though the world owes them a partner.

What does it mean to be a beautiful woman?  They go through life like movie stars or celebrities.  This is going to make some of them feel entitled.

I als…[Read more]

Unseen wrote:
a quick hump in the alley behind the bar can result in a guy paying the woman to raise children she won’t even let him be a father to.

Maybe it could, but – don’t you watch Judge Judy? – it’s still his responsibility, and he can apply to the court for visitation or partial custody, if he were so disposed.

Unseen wrote:
Listen to these women discussing their standards, and it’s no wonder they are being ignored.

It’s true that women have had a tendency to rely on men financially.  Why would this be?  Two possible reasons: 1) the gilded cage of patriarchy, which likes women to be dependent and subservient; 2) women rely on resources to raise children.

Reg the Fronkey Farmer wrote:
1984 has lasted decades in some places!

I wouldn’t necessarily call the directive Orwellian – just dumb and misplaced – it wouldn’t necessarily work very well.  On the other hand, it does get the subject onto the public agenda.

unapologetic wrote:
Not at work, but in life in general. I’ve been accused of being either a stalker or gay (standoffish). I just don’t get it.

It’s a minefield.

Well, I agree with everything Sall Grover says in this video.  There’s always a baseline of atypical, antisocial people of either sex.  But patriarchy gives men an extra reason to be shitty, and it’s built in to society.

Unseen wrote:
The problem driving MGTOW isn’t women generally, it’s Western women. Woke, feminized, #MeToo women. Men are finding that they have far fewer problems with women outside the Western world. Non-Western women still know how to be feminine and make men feel needed and important.

But you can’t say that women are at fault for trying or…[Read more]