Davis
Forum Replies Created
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So the gist of the, what should be an utterly non-controversial statement in a non crazy universe is:
Women being raped is a problem, it is not a small problem, this shouldn’t happen, we can all do our part to stop it.
But I am Yet to read a person agreeing rape is a problem, not a small problem, that we should do what we can to stop it (except Simon, thank you Simon for being a human being).
Other reactions have been (from bad to worst)
- I’m on the fence about this
- You can’t have it both ways
- Statistic (about women claiming rape) is bullshit
- Men are raped too
- You should pick your partner’s better
- Men are expected to make more than women
- Females hypersexualise themselves online
- (Plus more incel nonsense I’d care to remember reading).
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Pointing out that rape is a problem is not a blanket attack on men. It is pointing out there is a problem. You can help fight that problem or be part of the problem. The statements above reflect being part of the problem (getting in the way of doing something about it). Reading posts on this site just makes me really sad these days.
You are indirectly victim blaming. Your entire commentary has been almost entirely about the victims and what they should do with little at all about rapists/predators and what they shouldn’t do (and how we can help stop them). We get rid of crime by stopping criminals and not enabling them. Again, people can do everything any other reasonable person would, and still be a victim. Your attitude simply enables things to go on the way they always have and makes it hard to change things.
I’ve just said I’ve been in rapey situations, and instead of anyone going “I’m sorry to hear that, that’s bad, those guys shouldn’t have done that” I get “maybe you should pick these guys more carefully”. This is classic rape culture enabling. The nicest seeming guy in the world can turn out to be rapey.
I’m glad to hear you haven’t come across rape culture. That’s good. Your experiences don’t represent everyone else’s. Also keep in mind, you are unlikely to have been the object of predators and so have not seen nor experienced this. I have never been on a straight male sports team, in multiple countries (including North America) where rapey talk and jokes weren’t common. I have studied in multiple universities in several countries and I have witnessed rape culture first hand, have had female friends recount cases of rape, sexual assault, date rape, endless sexual harassment and the few times they did anything about it faced intimidation, people not believing them and police indifference.
This is to be expected, the worst of the bad behaviour doesn’t happen out in the open. It is not unusual you haven’t seen it. Not seeing it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Millions of women (and male rape victims) aren’t making this shit up. They don’t put them selves out there to people denying their stories, ridiculing them and often paying social prices because they had some superficial experience. It is more prevalent than people want to believe, more problematic than most people want to deal with.
Instead of denying the scope of the problem, expecting victims to change their behaviour and playing down the issues, how about supporting victims, calling out the problem and challenging people (if you ever come across it)?
Rape culture is bad. Enabling it by denying it’s prevalence, expecting victims to “deal with it” or “adapt to it” and showing indifference to it is almost as bad.
See, Robert is a prime example of covering up and pretending rape culture isn’t a problem (especially with his toxic tropes like “cat calling” can be okay though “not if he is ugly” bullshit). And he is more progressive than a lot of men. It is a prime illustration of how much progress is left to be made.
In my ice hockey locker room, I hear guys joking about raping women as though it’s not a big deal. Jokes about how they have coerced drunken women into doing things they likely regretted (with high fives) and sharing tactics on how they can manipulate women into doing things. I know some are uncomfortable with it but don’t say anything. I have been on the receiving end of sexual coercion. It is very easy to go along with things because it is easier for many reasons. Fortunately I fight back. So many don’t. Rape culture is fucking real Robert. Wake the fuck up and adjust your attitudes. The boys club cannot quite get away with what they used to. This club has to sacrifice a small bit of “joking” and laddish culture so that victims can at last feel safe, not be coerced or raped with impunity and truly engage in all relations and sexual interaction with clear consent.
Jake, just calm down with your bigotry. I’m sorry you have become such a raging bigot and refuse to recognise that. Your double standards with justly pointing out anti-Semitism while repeating the very same over-the top things about Islam is nauseating. You aren’t even a closet bigot, it is so utterly out there in the open for anyone to see who isn’t blind by ideology. Just, calm, the f*** down with your bigotry. Zheesh.
Reg has never ever said anything islamophobic. That is because his argument are directed at the beliefs themselves, practices which are particularly toxic and particular people who use religion to justify the unjustifiable. You so grossly paint hundres of millions and dehumanise them with such a broad grotesque brush it is inhuman. You and Reg are not the same on this topic. You aren’t remotely in the same camp. You’re frequently saying over the top bigoted nonsense. He doesn’t. To call his criticism of Islam or muslims he has criticised islamophobic would be unfair. To label a lot of what you have said about Islam would be more than fair.
I agree, there is a window, say 1 or 2 pints where it can be easier to understand, but once you get past three and especially past 6, I find the slurred speech and reverting to local dialect makes it pretty tough to understand. Following a drunk man in a bar in Glasgow (or in my experience in a Pub in county Kerry) was so impossible I just nodded and laughed when they laughed.
I was in Belfast just seven weeks ago which was a glorious trip. I could live off of soda bread and potato bread and bacon/egg baps for breakfast for months.
