Sunday School

Sunday School 16th May 2021

This topic contains 67 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  jakelafort 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 68 total)
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  • #37703

    Autumn
    Participant

    So I’ve moved to Scotland. I have to say it’s been a bit of an adjustment living in an Anglo-Saxon country (you guys and a couple other websites have been my only outlet for the English speaking world for the last couple decades). It makes me a little dizzy speaking English with native speakers every day

    Decided to just jump back in on hard mode, then, didn’t you?

    #37704

    Davis
    Moderator

    Scottish people are extremely friendly…so it hasn’t been a tough transition. The weather on the other hand……..

    #37705

    Strega
    Moderator

    Ah Davis, that weather is infamous!

    Two Scotsmen go to Hell. A demon approaches the devil and says “Dark lord! Two men from Glasgow in Scotland have been sent here. What should be done with them?”

    The devil says “Glaswegians? Their kind are normally very friendly, helpful and honest, so we do not see many such men in my dark domain… Hang them in a cage over the lake of fire for now and I shall check on them later.

    “But when the devil flew up to the cage to check on the Scotsmen, he found them happily lounging around with their shirts off.

    “What is the meaning of this?” The devil cried. “You’re supposed to be in torment!”

    The Glaswegians looked surprised “Naw” they said “it’s pure quality taps aff weather here man. It’s no drab an’ dreek like Scotland, you know that way?

    “Fuming, the devil flew to the great thermostat of Hell and cranked it all the way to the top. And the next day, the temperature was so high that even the demons were sweating, the stones of hell were melting and the flames from the lake of fire were leaping higher than ever before.

    So the devil was surprised when he visited the Scotsmen and found that they had somehow procured plastic lawn furniture and Buckfast tonic wine.

    Raising a glass to the devil, one of the Scotsmen said “Hey big man! If I’d known it was so lovely an warm doon here, I’d’ve done a whole lot more sinning! Weather’s always shite in Glasgae. Always freezin’ ma nuts off, you know?”

    “I see.” The devil replied, smiling though clenched teeth “your dismal country has given you a great love of heat. The hotter it is, the happier you are. Well, we’ll see about that.

    “So saying, he flew to the great thermostat of Hell once more, but this time, he turned it all the way down.

    The next day, the lake of fire was frozen solid for the first time, sinners were frozen in blocks of ice and demons huddled in corners for warmth, their teeth chattering.

    But when the devil visited the Scotsmen, he found them jumping for joy, tearfully cheering “Scotland! SCOTLAND!!!”

    The devil’s jaw dropped. “What? Why? How? I burn you and you are happy! I freeze you and you celebrate! What is wrong with you?

    “One of Glaswegians turned back and said “Is it no feckin’ obvious ye daft bastart? Hell’s frozen over! Scotland’s won the world cup!”

    #37706

    @davis, “There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.” More.

    #37707

    Autumn
    Participant

    I need a climate that ranges from -8 in the winter to +14 in the summer, less than 40% sunny days in a year (nights are free to have as many starry skies as they do or do not please). On paper, much of Scotland still looks too warm. Sometimes I get a little irritated with so much of the planet being wrong about the weather. I’ve put in a number of complaints about it locally, but nothing ever gets done.

    #37708

    Hell freezing over continued…..

    HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
    The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
    The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student wrote the following:
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
    So which is it?
    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. ….leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

    #37709

    _Robert_
    Participant

    Ha, that’s great, Reg !!!

    #37710

    Davis
    Moderator

    LOL. So funny. Yeah my Grandmother was Scottish. Absolute force of nature. She was every cliché you could imagine. Super cheap (penny counter but splurged on the important things), tough, ironic humour, said the rain was good cause it made the grass green, didn’t tolerate complaining and would come down on you hard if you treated her poorly or tried to take advantage. Only gave you praise if you deserved it (and lots of it). People are nice. But yeah…it’s late may and it’s still rainy and averages 10ºC. I think the July and winter isn’t an exageration.

    #37711

    Simon Paynton
    Participant

    What number of friends can Dunbar have? Is it a bad theory?

    It’s great to see an article about the Dunbar number, actually written by Robin Dunbar.  He appears to make a stout defence of his theory.  It’s a reminder that a hypothesis is just a hypothesis, especially when it comes to social sciences.

    It seems that Dunbar takes into account that we can know a lot more people than 150, but says that we can only maintain actual friendships with 150 or less.

    Does it make sense?  In other areas of cognition, we don’t recognise limits on people’s abilities.  Who knows.

    #37712

    TheEncogitationer
    Participant

    Fellow Unbelievers,

    Nota bene, folks: With private pharmacies as the vaccine distributor in the  U.S., the wait to get vaccine is minutes, if at all, and the only wait after the vaccine is a safety observation for any side effects.  Then it’s off to live a healthy, normal life!

    In fact, if someone cancels an appointment for a vaccine or there’s a no-show, the pharmacy will get on the PA and give a cheery announcement to customers:  “We have an opening for a COVID-19 vaccination available if you would like to get yours today!”

    Also noteworthy, there have been no apparent vaccine supply chain issues, even with the Russian hack of the Colonial Pipeline affecting commerce and travel in the Southestern U.S.   The pharmacies clearly stocked enough vaccines for all who want one.

    (Now if we just had a spider web of pipelines, oil rigs, refineries, and manual overrides, we could tell Russian hackers that they aren’t getting shit and go choke on their borscht and cheap vodka. 😛 🇷🇺)

    #37713

    TheEncogitationer
    Participant

    Autumn,

    I need a climate that ranges from -8 in the winter to +14 in the summer, less than 40% sunny days in a year (nights are free to have as many starry skies as they do or do not please).

    What would you live on, whale blubber and the baby seal equivalent of veal?

    I don’t think even lettuce, cabbage, kale, and parsnips grow at that cold a temperature, and those are very hardy plants.

    And wouldn’t only 40 % or less sunny days mean less Vitamin D?  That can’t be good for a growing young lady.

    On paper, much of Scotland still looks too warm. Sometimes I get a little irritated with so much of the planet being wrong about the weather. I’ve put in a number of complaints about it locally, but nothing ever gets done.

    I see you adhere to Mark Twain’s School of Meteorology.  He also observed: “Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.” 😁

    #37715

    TheEncogitationer
    Participant

    Reg,

    Excellent joke, even if it may be Urban-y Legend-y. 😁

    (Actually, for the sake of the Professor and the student, I hope it is an urban legend.  The lack of enthusiastic affirmative consent by Teresa might mean the Woke mob would tear the Professor and student to bits!  Also, logic, math, and science are now considered “White Supremacist” by the Woke mob.)

    #37716

    I have no problem with the genuinely “woke” when it comes to finding solutions to social inequities and removing any legal forms of discrimination. But the “virtue signalers” are a different breed. I will stir any pot just to set them off on a rant. Leave ’em to me.

    #37717

    Autumn
    Participant

    Autumn,

    I need a climate that ranges from -8 in the winter to +14 in the summer, less than 40% sunny days in a year (nights are free to have as many starry skies as they do or do not please).

    What would you live on, whale blubber and the baby seal equivalent of veal? I don’t think even lettuce, cabbage, kale, and parsnips grow at that cold a temperature, and those are very hardy plants. And wouldn’t only 40 % or less sunny days mean less Vitamin D? That can’t be good for a growing young lady.

    I probably should have specified ºC. Roughly 18-58ºF. Those are pretty moderate temps.

    Vancouver-region has one of the best climates for me in Canada. Winters don’t quite get cold enough as it typically stays above freezing even for the daily lows, but the summers usually stay in the (Fahrenheit) 70s with short stints in the 80s. The humidity is moderate to high most of the year making the cold feel colder and the hot feel hotter, but it’s reasonable.

    Forest fires are increasingly a problem, but even for the general region, we don’t have it the worst. South and east of us usually get it worse. Not sure if, long term, the forests will become more resistant to massive blazes, or if this is a problem that will only continue to worsen in my life time, but at the very least I think there are quite a few more years of severe fires all around us.

    I went to school in Ottawa. It’s not crazy cold, but lows hit below zero easily with windchill. Because I used to go to school late at night (when it was quiet), I was often out when it was below -5. Thankfully, humidity was quite low in winter. I’m not a huge fan of climates that cold or colder, but it was far better than the flip to 80º+ weather and high humidity. Event hough there are more sweltering places on the planet, it’s the huge swing from low to high that gets you.

    #37718

    TheEncogitationer
    Participant

    Reg and Strega,

    One thing I miss more than anything is staying up to watch The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.  

    Craig–along with his Postmodern equivalent of Ed McMahon, the Punk-Rock Gay robot skeleton Geoff and Secretariat, the pantomime horse–were a scream to watch!

    Craig, being from Scotland, always had some great Scottish yarns to spin and sassy Scottish allusions in his humor:

    He also subtly poked at Identity Politics with his ongoing running-joke feud with his producer Michael:

    “What da mean I’d like cheap Putt-Putt Miniature Golf?  Is it because I’m Scottish?!?  Your-r-r  a r-r-r-racist, man!” 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😁

    There’s a whole montage of silly moments between Craig and Michael and the guests too:

    When his last show ran and this number played, my heart just kind of sunk, like the end of a great era had arrived:

    😔  Although I’m glad he “banging on” with other things, I still miss Craig’s signature show.

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